tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35813368703925781812024-03-05T22:06:36.529-06:00Journey Without a Destinationmy journey of discovering graceAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.comBlogger131125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-33460438338593307282018-01-17T09:55:00.000-06:002018-01-17T09:55:11.389-06:00The Leaders Among Us<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPBZamHsQDxuiuUmvtH0RP5NKoFJ7TND0YojOa7JCaUXmIDsOvbuVkkZ4pjtyROuidtA-htU_tbHPuO5KJGpOw29ocl1I_pPP81hTfG5lmT5R52TzHAcYZKMCi2bzAwwGBEZIMu-en7O4/s1600/feet.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1176" data-original-width="1600" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPBZamHsQDxuiuUmvtH0RP5NKoFJ7TND0YojOa7JCaUXmIDsOvbuVkkZ4pjtyROuidtA-htU_tbHPuO5KJGpOw29ocl1I_pPP81hTfG5lmT5R52TzHAcYZKMCi2bzAwwGBEZIMu-en7O4/s400/feet.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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I take to my keyboard once again to pen some thoughts on an issue
that hits close to home. Let me preface
this by telling you a few things about myself.
I grew up entrenched in religion.
That religion communicated to me that the role of a woman was to be
quiet and still and obedient. However, I
also grew up in a household which was led by a true partnership and with a father
who has always spoken empowerment over me.
Fast forward 20 years when God, despite my ardent protests, called me to
leadership. I now, at 27, am an ordained
female pastor who serves in many different leadership positions.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I can honestly say that I never would have chosen this path
for myself. In fact, I can look back on
my life and admit that for most of it I was running and hiding from this
calling. Yet, God dragged me into it
(despite my kicking and screaming along the way). I say
I wouldn’t have chosen this path and yet I know I was designed for it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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See, I have always had fire in my heart. This, more often than not, has resulted in a
hot head and a quick tongue and great attempts by many to put me out. The thing about fire is that while it is
incredibly powerful it is also quite dangerous, especially to dry brush and
hard hearts. Because of this effort by many
people in my life to extinguish my flames I became quite angry and arrogant and
more resolved to burn brighter and hotter.
I refused to give in; I refused to submit to anything; I refused to be
tamed. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And that’s when they won.
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That’s when they won because that’s when I became so focused
on elevating and “proving” myself that I could no longer see the needs of other
people. What good am I as a leader if I
neglect those in my care? <o:p></o:p></div>
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This week some discussion has occurred in a space that I
participate in regarding women leading men in the church. Arguments were made, lines drawn, religious
muscles flexed, verses cited, and Theology toted. As I reflect this morning on all of these
things my heart cannot help but scream, “AREN’T WE MISSING THE POINT?!” We want to have this grand discussion on
women leading and men leading and tradition and blah blah blah all based in
this GIANT misconception that Christian leadership is about power over
others. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I mean, I get it, that’s the human way. Us humans, we like power, and in this world leadership
is often defined by the power it holds. But
have we so quickly forgotten that things with God tend to be a little
backwards? Crack open your Bible and you
will find that the leaders within its pages were thugs, prostitutes, murders, drunks,
and, yes, even women. Most all of whom
were plucked from the lowest of the low to <u>serve</u> God’s people. God doesn’t seem to care too much about
humanities designations of people or cultural constructs. With Him, it seems, we are truly all equal. Even
if you neglect the significance of these leaders you still have to face the
greatest leader of them all… Jesus. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Jesus, you remember Him, that one guy that supposedly is the
center of our faith. Yeah, well <i>that</i> guy seemed to think that great
leadership looked like bending down half naked in front of His followers and
washing manure covered toes. <i>That</i> guy demonstrated that kingship
meant a criminal’s death. And so, I
cannot help but believe that the highest of callings within the church is
actually the lowliest. I cannot help but
believe that those of us who are given the strength to lead are to use that
strength to lift others up above us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Look, I am and ever will be a proponent of gender equality
both inside and outside of the church. I
will forever be a warrior woman. I believe
in empowering and strengthening other women.
I still sometimes (all the time) get SUPER frustrated with those men who
for some reason see the need to puff their chests and prove their supremacy. And, let’s be honest, I often find myself
calling those men out on their BS (as those of you who know me can
attest). However, I am continuing to
learn that my greatest strength as a leader is to uplift and empower those
around me. It is of far greater value to
raise others up than it is to become embittered by those who seek to tear down.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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I write all of this to urge each one of you, may we never
get so distracted by the principles that we neglect our purpose. May our
attention never be so stolen away by the rules that we neglect relationship. May Law never win and may Grace always
prevail and may Jesus, not the world, be our only standard.</div>
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<a href="http://www.bryantriangle.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/9.7.Hazing.lDouglas.IMG_8469.JPG" target="_blank">Pic Credit </a><o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-85968489792011459532017-04-03T18:53:00.000-05:002017-04-03T19:02:52.864-05:00She As Told By Him- The Dance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN_PKoEKygxWuQJy-lsYnVqxaBFgnDWCcvW3xxsHo78r1WDBXEx4USSn2gOgRB5XquWnSHUn3fBZSnC6Wy4KdEYB5CESUOQxhOglGyNp5KowXyJyijYAdyqeY5HXVtKRQJPVD8WQL0DHo/s1600/File+Apr+03%252C+6+59+30+PM.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN_PKoEKygxWuQJy-lsYnVqxaBFgnDWCcvW3xxsHo78r1WDBXEx4USSn2gOgRB5XquWnSHUn3fBZSnC6Wy4KdEYB5CESUOQxhOglGyNp5KowXyJyijYAdyqeY5HXVtKRQJPVD8WQL0DHo/s320/File+Apr+03%252C+6+59+30+PM.jpeg" width="303" /></a></div>
She wasn't a dancer but she liked to let the music move her. She would escape to a field on the outside of town and listen to the music all around her. The wind blowing through the grass made a deep whooshing, the pitter patter of animal's feet beat like tiny drums against the ground, and the shrill soprano of birds whistling pierced the air. It was as if He were orchestrating a symphony just for her.<br />
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She would spin and twirl, the wind tossing her baggy clothes to and fro. She was a beautifully free ball of chaos exploding from within herself. All of her went in different directions as she moved with reckless abandon, caught up in the moment, and doted on by the Creator of the very ground upon which she danced. <br />
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She said nothing and yet she worshiped. She offered nothing and yet it was enough, She was alone and yet she was held close. She moved with clumsy grace and I am madly in love with her. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-28479119970136240022016-10-31T09:09:00.000-05:002016-10-31T09:09:39.934-05:00Self-Love and Poetry<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsxTXdXjMbfe6os92qTj3DpKn1jbTMFRYFXjnWw9Uwz3cvtP7YOYspSKBhUvXu-gVYZGRFDP9tPbUp320PMAjvBD4_d8d0PiKs95LwzaoUVare3jlhTpfcOq1UAW63TdO4kDEEBu-YDzY/s1600/14712732_10157556326995175_1403337746183912578_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsxTXdXjMbfe6os92qTj3DpKn1jbTMFRYFXjnWw9Uwz3cvtP7YOYspSKBhUvXu-gVYZGRFDP9tPbUp320PMAjvBD4_d8d0PiKs95LwzaoUVare3jlhTpfcOq1UAW63TdO4kDEEBu-YDzY/s320/14712732_10157556326995175_1403337746183912578_o.jpg" width="318" /></a></div>
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As I am sure has been apparent to those of you who follow me
on a regular basis I have been on a new journey lately towards self-love. I have found that though I can always accept
quite readily that God loves me and I can sometimes accept that other people
love me, I have an incredibly difficult time loving myself. Some of this struggle comes from growing up
within religion where self-love was labeled selfishness as the continual
reminder to “die to self” repeatedly echoed through the empty places in my
soul. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I have lived my life mostly unaware what trouble hating
myself has caused me. As I began my
self-hate recovery journey a little over a year ago I saw chains break inside
me that I had no idea where held captive.
Not long ago my cousin <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Catherine-Valentine/e/B00OPXO54K/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1477922128&sr=1-2-ent" target="_blank">Catherine </a>challenged me to something she called “She
Speaks Truth to Herself.” The challenge
was to write a letter to myself speaking truth to my own heart. It was incredibly difficult and incredibly
healing. [<a href="http://journeywithoutadestination.jess-hays.com/2016/06/she-speaks-truth-to-herself.html" target="_blank">Click here to read my blog of that challenge</a>]. So, when she asked me
if I wanted to preview her poetry chapbook with the same title and write a
review of it I was super excited to say yes!<o:p></o:p></div>
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She Speaks Truth to Herself by Catherine Valentine is a
fantastic little chapbook packed full of truth and healing words. I’m kind of a sucker for poetry anyway
(probably because I really suck at writing it) so it wasn’t incredibly hard for
this collection to win me over. In this
book Catherine is fearlessly authentic and beautiful exposed. My favorite piece in the book is called “Broken.” Here is my favorite stanza:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
This is
God’s church, these are His people--<br />the wounded,
the broken, hypocrite and liar.<br />In good
company in the church of the broken.</blockquote>
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I would
definitely recommend this chapbook to anyone who is interested in poetry,
truth, or authentic people. I hope it
will encourage you to start your own self-love journey and in turn free places
in you that you didn’t know were captive.
It surely has helped do that for me.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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For more
writing by Catherine check out her website here: www.catherinevalentine.wix.com/cvalentinewriter<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-87412033196662136282016-10-17T13:52:00.000-05:002017-07-19T10:08:19.713-05:00Breath<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdxXeVUKCbbsOh3UxmR-KF9z4__Ob0eqlb5NplPgQHSTVGkv9gsSfiE-aJfJ0XCaHWUdEquC1epsknQoERNRPMpVGV21hWdzVYdnrbdj0OmOMbHutjHg-i2o-V5KYJqacBlepiBr063UA/s1600/breath.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdxXeVUKCbbsOh3UxmR-KF9z4__Ob0eqlb5NplPgQHSTVGkv9gsSfiE-aJfJ0XCaHWUdEquC1epsknQoERNRPMpVGV21hWdzVYdnrbdj0OmOMbHutjHg-i2o-V5KYJqacBlepiBr063UA/s400/breath.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Breath.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s amazing what power there is in a breath. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Life itself can hang on the ins and outs of just one
breath. In fact, with very little
research one will find that life’s origin lies in one breath. One holy breath. One exhale from God and one inhale from man
and life exploded into being. One
exhale, one inhale, it’s all so simple. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Today as I sat in the break area at work hanging desperately
to the last minutes of escape before going back to invoices and numbers and expectations,
I took an extra moment to breathe. I
took just one big deep breath in and let it sink its way down into the depths
of me, and as I exhaled I felt my shoulders slump and relax for a moment… a
fleeting but precious moment. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Have you ever stopped to think about what breathing really
is? I mean, have you ever REALLY thought
about it? Breathing is about
receiving. Breathing is receiving life
from outside of yourself. It’s about
taking in nutrients and energy and expelling all that is not those things. One exhale from God and one inhale from man. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s funny to me how I so often think that I am in
control. How often a cling to my
independence thinking that makes me strong.
AND YET I cannot even take a breath without being dependent on things
outside of myself to supply me with life-- on trees and plants and molecules of
oxygen that I can’t even see with my own eyes. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I can’t help but liken this physical life to the less
tangible reality of spiritual life.
Interestingly enough in the Hebrew language the word for “breath” and
the word for “spirit” are actually the same word. It’s the word “Ruach” and it carries with it
the undertone of both life and power. When
the Hebrews spoke of “spirit” it was linked to identity. Who you were was defined by your spirit or your
breath of life. This linking of breath
and spirit and life and identity is peppered ALL through the Bible (weird, it’s
like it’s important or something). <o:p></o:p></div>
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Now, you might be saying, “Ok, Jess, we get it you’re a huge
Bible nerd, but what does that have to do with us now?” Well, my friends, what if I told you that you
have been breathed into with the holy breath of Jesus himself? What if you possess in you the very life
force of a Savior too powerful to be held by the grave? What if, your identity is linked to Jesus
Himself?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Well, you have. You do.
It is. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Moreover if the Spirit of the one who raised Jesus from the
dead lives in you, the one who raised Christ from the dead will also make your
mortal bodies alive through his Spirit who lives in you. </span> </h3>
</blockquote>
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<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #f1c232;">Romans 8:11 (NET) </span></h3>
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You know the problem with the Church today? We only preach half of the gospel. We want to talk about forgiveness all day
long. Which is great, don’t get me
wrong, we’d be hopeless beings were it not for the mercy of forgiveness, but
that’s only half of the story. See because not only was our sin defeated with
Christ’s last breath on that cross, but HIS spiritual life was provided to us
as He kicked down death’s door and busted out of the tomb. The gospel is incomplete without the glorious
grace of Christ’s life IN us. One exhale
by God and one inhale by man. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Many will present lists and guidelines and 10 step programs
to live a good Christian life neglecting the fact that we are wholly dependent
of the Holy breath of God to accomplish any of those things. Or have we forgotten that even in our
breathing we are dependent beings? We
are receivers; God is the giver; may we never confuse the two. <o:p></o:p></div>
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One exhale from God. One
inhale from man. That’s the gospel.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #f1c232;">But God demonstrates his own love for us, in that while we
were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, because we have now been
declared righteous by his blood, we will be saved through him from God’s wrath.
<b>For if while we were enemies we were
reconciled to God through the death of his Son, how much more, since we have
been reconciled, will we be saved by his life?</b> Not only this, but we also rejoice in God
through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received this
reconciliation. </span> </h3>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #f1c232;">Romans 5:8-11 (NET)</span></h3>
</blockquote>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-5322255011316944332016-06-14T07:45:00.000-05:002016-06-14T07:45:33.280-05:00She Speaks Truth to Herself<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkiKJIytOWtL7lFr8Mdou5xkKxxVnbP02-hfsOd8LedpYrH2Rgh1c79BR__VXYBRfKH9RwR1Aclxi19Y0F7jjlB_BhNwopHfPmTB7sehIioPyz-eb5bt3qfSdUhXl1bAM-ZeBAP07o6ns/s1600/11831821_10153476061676774_5433336436408931460_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkiKJIytOWtL7lFr8Mdou5xkKxxVnbP02-hfsOd8LedpYrH2Rgh1c79BR__VXYBRfKH9RwR1Aclxi19Y0F7jjlB_BhNwopHfPmTB7sehIioPyz-eb5bt3qfSdUhXl1bAM-ZeBAP07o6ns/s320/11831821_10153476061676774_5433336436408931460_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
My wonderful and talented cousin, <a href="http://catherinevalentine.wix.com/cvalentinewriter#!Dear-Catherine-She-Speaks-Truth-to-Herself/c1mat/575eaf0a0cf235a69b2000df" target="_blank">Catherine</a>, wrote a beautiful poem called <a href="http://catherinevalentine.wix.com/cvalentinewriter#!She-Speaks-Truth-to-Herself/c1mat/56a029be0cf2bfd5ccea1c69" target="_blank">She Speaks Truth to Herself</a> which will be included in her next book of the same title. She recently blogged a letter that she had written to herself in her own voice that was inspired by this piece and challenged me to do the same. When I read her letter I have to be honest… it totally wrecked me. What a beautiful thing to speak truth over oneself. <br /><br /><br />I have written a few pieces that act sort of like letters to me from God (one of which will be included in my new book coming out next month) and let me tell you those are emotionally wrecking enough! But to think of speaking over myself in my own voice was slightly terrifying and therefore I knew immediately that it needed to be done. <br /><br /><br />So, last night I “went to bed early” which really means I went and hid in my room and wrote for 2 hours and this is what I ended up with. I cannot express how difficult and healing and emotional and empowering this process was. I challenge everyone to try it; you might be surprised what you learn about yourself in the process. <br /><br /><h2>
Jess,</h2>
Oh Jess, I have been so hard on you. So many times I have dismissed your great triumphs while other times I have neglected to embrace your failures. I know that this has left you with a war inside that keeps you from being able to fully love yourself. Please forgive me for this. You are so much stronger than you know. You have walked through so much darkness many times without a flashlight. You have faced monsters, and you have leaped over mountains. <div>
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You are a warrior. You are brave. You are loved so much by so many; never let the days of loneliness, when it feels as if no one understands you, never let those moments drowned out the truth that you are incredibly loved and important. Depression and anxiety do not define you. Addiction is not your master. You are a free, vibrant, passionate daughter of your Father God and He delights in teaching you your identity. You have struggled to be accepted your entire life and even now, when others seem to only want you for what you can do for them, DO NOT FORGET that you are held tight by heavenly arms. He is closer than the skin on your bones. </div>
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I am proud of you. Though your humanity is hardwired for struggle you are an overcomer. Even when you hide behind your tough smirk and edgy style you are a dainty porcelain doll in the hands of The King and He handles you with care and affection. Being soft is not weakness. </div>
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You are enough. Even when you have empty hands. You are enough. Even when you are exhausted. You are enough. Even when you can't push down those emotions you hate so much. You are enough. And you are worthy of love and affection. Don't you ever stop believing that. Don't you ever give up hope. Don't you ever stop fighting to create those spaces of grace you are desperate for. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You have purpose and design but you are not shackled to your efforts. Remember to rest. Though you are incredibly significant, the world is more than capable of getting along without you, so stop believing things will fall apart if you stop holding them together. Your arms aren't big enough for that, but your God's are. Be still. You deserve times of rest. Self-care is not selfish. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Never stop believing in the church, even if it has failed you more times than you can count. Never stop believing in good men, even if you have been hurt by bad ones. Never stop loving strong women, even if you have been bullied by them. They are all worth it just as you are. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You are beautiful. Your differentness is attractive and endearing. Your goofiness is adorable. Don't even change just to please someone. I love you; today, tomorrow, and the next day. Even when I forget to say it, even when I don't want to say it, even when it hurts to say it, I love you. Keep your head up, darling. Clear eyes and full hearts can't lose.</div>
<div>
<h2>
Love,<br />Jess</h2>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-82230166698640669412016-05-16T12:07:00.001-05:002016-05-16T12:07:05.392-05:00Monsters Under the Bed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiQJIdZOp5BS1T0faE_S03WP87CDgz96MzfsGkhy4vUp7xSOHHfkakkFciKEEOf2fu7O2X77yB-fw1EzCSv6_jB3XoYYVEq9wHERRibb59n6UHa077oSj2YfMT0_s6odM330n9s3o_x7Q/s1600/under_my_bed_by_andreasrocha-d3h0d35.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="154" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiQJIdZOp5BS1T0faE_S03WP87CDgz96MzfsGkhy4vUp7xSOHHfkakkFciKEEOf2fu7O2X77yB-fw1EzCSv6_jB3XoYYVEq9wHERRibb59n6UHa077oSj2YfMT0_s6odM330n9s3o_x7Q/s320/under_my_bed_by_andreasrocha-d3h0d35.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
What is it with us humans and our general lack of ability to vulnerable and authentic? I mean really, what’s with that? Why are we so scared to just be honest about our struggles? We all know they exist. It is blatantly obvious that each and every one of us struggle, and yet we are terrified to admit our own battles. <br /><br />Christians? Oh yeah, we’re the worst about it. Our churches have become spaces of structure and regulation that leave little room for messy people. Somewhere along the way religion became tangled in the expectation of doing everything perfectly and sabotaged the ability for people to be real with one another. And don’t go thinking it’s just the “religious types” either because it’s not. Us grace gospel types can fall into this same trap, talking about grace like it’s just a Theological concept instead of what (for some of us, most of the time) is the only thing that gets us out of bed in the morning. <br /><br />I think we're just afraid of our own ugliness. So then it's easier for us to be enraged about the "big" issues in our world, to throw a fit over unisex bathrooms, to spew hatred over people's choices at the polls, and to mock legalistic pastors. It is much easier for us to face the monsters we see in the world than it is to face the ones under our bed. <br /><br />And in neglecting to face the monsters under our beds, we effectively sabotage the great story of redemption. For it is only in the most desperate and most unmanageable of moments that we can truly see the ineffable glory of grace and its ability to conquer even the most ruthless of foes. <br /><br />Maybe that's what Jesus meant when he said, "those who have been forgiven much love much." Maybe his words were not meant as qualifiers of the greatness of one's love but rather exposers of the depth of one's need. <br /><br />Only when we are brave enough to come out from under the covers and meet the monsters we imagine to be formidable face to face are we able to see them whimpering and wailing under the rescuing fist of God's grace. It is inevitable that in these moments we will be brought to our knees once again in awe and wonder of a God who transcends our situation and yet is intimately aware of our pain.<br /><br />We want to tame grace, to lasso it, and tie it down to the pew next to us. It bucks and jumps and lays to waste the structured box of a building we’ve placed it in like a bull in a china shop. Grace is not safe. It saves. There’s a big difference between the two. It will hazardously force you to have to face the monsters under your bed but it will also rescue you from them. I wish we would allow ourselves to be brave enough to look under our beds. Then maybe, just maybe, in being honest about the monsters under our beds we might find that the ones in the world aren’t as big as they seemed. <br /><br />I hope God’s grace makes your life dangerous today. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-84517930093139626202016-05-10T10:51:00.000-05:002018-05-09T06:44:41.019-05:00Why I Stopped Pursuing God<br />
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIQZgRTrzP2BJ2gS70UlmX-N7lY1uRy8H3eMU388ktrm_eRWGXDk1jcojIx4ly0dIF3wmxPYn_H8eJ6WMj09viBtEBIfvt77DxCBbQSsCFvyLiVU5xc2R1BbbUsbLOd9YE7F0N0LO_PiE/s1600/chased-vs-pursued.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIQZgRTrzP2BJ2gS70UlmX-N7lY1uRy8H3eMU388ktrm_eRWGXDk1jcojIx4ly0dIF3wmxPYn_H8eJ6WMj09viBtEBIfvt77DxCBbQSsCFvyLiVU5xc2R1BbbUsbLOd9YE7F0N0LO_PiE/s320/chased-vs-pursued.jpg" width="320" /></a>Pursue God. Pursue Jesus. Pursue intimacy with God. Pursue righteousness.</h3>
<br />
All of these directives seem good and honorable, and they are taught as such. Many a pastor and Christian teacher has used them as mission statements and explanations of the “good Christian life.” We are taught that pursuing God is something we should always be doing.<br />
<br />
Chase after Him. Look for Him. Be in pursuit of God. What you do when you find Him no one has quite figured out yet, but what everyone knows for sure is that we should be pursuing Him. Unfortunately, what that sounds like is that He's hiding away somewhere, tucked just out of sight, and waiting for the magical day when someone's worthy pursuit ends at the finish line of Him. If you listen to this message long enough you will eventually come to the conclusion that you will never get to the finish line (at least not in this life), but you must, by no means, ever never stop running. Keep doing. Keep working. Keep trying your hardest, putting forth your best efforts, and stretching your farthest towards godliness. <br />
<br />
For all of humanity's existence we've been trying to claw our way up to God. We've built towers and constructed temples all under the banner of "pursuing God." The temptation of Adam was "God likeness." He pursued God to the point of his own death, sacrificing abundant life to gain it himself. Sounds like pursuit of God didn't work out so well for him? <br />
<br />
What if all this time we've been pursuing God and missing the point all along? What if the Christian life is not about our pursuit of God but rather God's relentless pursuit of us? <br />
<br />
Jesus was presented with the same temptation as Adam, but instead of pursuing God likeness he relinquished it to the point of His own death, sacrificing His life so that we could have it abundantly. <br />
<br />
Maybe our problem is that we see Jesus as an example for us. We see him as a standard we should in some way model or live up to, and yet that was never his purpose on this earth. Jesus did not come to show us what we should try to be like. He came to show us EXACTLY what God is like. He came to set the record straight. He came to silence the very first lie that ever slipped off the tongue of the serpent, that God is distant and withholding, and show us exactly how excessive and gracious God really is. Jesus came to make an unfathomable God tangible. He came as a flesh and blood representation of God's stubborn delight in a people hell-bent on independence. What an audacious reality, that the God of the universe we try desperately to work our way towards, instead slips into the fragile skin of our humanity as if to say, "No, children, let me come to you."<br />
<div>
<br />
Oh how generous and glorious a God! How inexpressibly thankful I am that He pursues me. Because, if I’m being honest, I’m much more likely to be found cowering in my nakedness behind some fig leaves than running after Him. Still, He comes, walking through the cool of the garden, to pull me close and silence my shame for He has never been scared away by sin. If I’m being honest, I’m much more likely to be a petulant and stubborn child of Israel who rather be oppressed once again under the shackles of Egypt than to trust God’s faithfulness to fight for me. And still He comes, parting the sea of my struggle and drowning my bondage in perfect love. If I’m honest, I’m much more likely to be an idol worshiping judge, a depressed king, or a doubting disciple than I am to be trusted champion of The Kingdom. And still He comes, calling me to care for His people.<br />
<br />
So, I've come to the decision to stop pursing God and instead rest every day in the awareness of His pursuit of me. It’s time we all stopped running. It’s time we gave up on pursuing a God who is already closer even than the skin on our bones. It’s time we chose to stop pursuing God and rest in THE pursuing God.</div>
<div>
<br />
May you come to know the reality of an intimate God that has pursued and embraced you. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-52845503215729923752016-03-16T13:14:00.000-05:002016-03-16T13:14:25.434-05:00The Promise and the Promiser<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg38T-HsTKkGa2kp7qCUbU9Y1SNUHZdNKdvSouxudQHYyA473eDFDXPi69OqlDEd0nCIPk3TNSQTX6DFuZ3g9LcSJQfCkbvsHjL1NdphsapEF3aHybgVcK1RO_MY6EVzxy_PrmeDRAy-Io/s1600/21140-Pinky-Promise.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg38T-HsTKkGa2kp7qCUbU9Y1SNUHZdNKdvSouxudQHYyA473eDFDXPi69OqlDEd0nCIPk3TNSQTX6DFuZ3g9LcSJQfCkbvsHjL1NdphsapEF3aHybgVcK1RO_MY6EVzxy_PrmeDRAy-Io/s320/21140-Pinky-Promise.png" width="320" /></a><b>Psalm 37:4 (NIV)</b><b><br /></b></h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<b>Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your
heart.</b></h2>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This passage has always been a somewhat bittersweet one for
me. The reason for that is possibly because
most often I have heard it as an “encouraging” response from fellow believers
after my genuine and vulnerable expression of an aching need in my soul for
something. I express, “I am desperate for
purpose, I crave connection, or I long for others to see truth,” and the best I
am offered is a platitude of “Well, just delight yourself in the Lord…” The platitude itself isn’t so bad but it is
accompanied with this understood meaning, “IF you just love God more THEN He will
give you what you need… maybe… one day… when He feels like it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instantly, what is meant to encourage, wounds. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
See, here’s the thing, “loving God” has become synonymous
with “being more obedient” or “doing more things for Him.” Hooked to that is this twisted Theology that
somehow God only shows favor or gives generously to those who love Him
well. We end up attaching strings to
what we claim is God’s unconditional love. We say to people IF you do _________ THEN God
will ___________. What we don’t realize
is that when we make God’s faithfulness dependent on our action, it is us who
become the gods. And rather unhappy ones
at that. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
See what I mean?
Totally twisted! As if the hands
that carved the universe could be tied by the brittle whims of my human
behavior. As if the arms that stretched wide
to bleed out my sin could be bound by tattered ties of my testimony. How could
the frayed edges of my efforts even begin to incite the love of a God who is
far bigger than them?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My therapist said something in passing this week in our
session and the statement has been stuck with me all week. He said, “Let us not be tempted to trust in
the promise rather than in Him who promises.”
A simple statement really, but with such depth of truth. How easy it is to become focused on needs, my
cravings, my desires, and claim with fervor “God promised if I ask it will be
given to me!” This focus blurs the bigger
picture we’ve kept hidden in our peripherals. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The bigger picture, the better picture, is that not only
does God promise to give us the desires of our heart but actually HE is the
desire of our heart and we already have Him, all of Him, in fullness, no
holding back. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I say, “I’m desperate for purpose.” He answers, “Let’s create together.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I say, “I crave connection.”
He answers, “I’m tangled up in the very essence of your being.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I say, “I long for others to see truth.” He answers, “I’ve never stopped pursuing them.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have hunger pangs and He is the bread of life. We long for justice and He reigns
resolutely. We beg for tenderness, care,
comfort and He wraps us in His embrace.
We are need and He is source.
That’s how it was always designed to be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<o:p> </o:p><b><br /> Psalm 37:4- Jess Standard Version (JSV):</b><b><br /></b></h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<b>“Rest peacefully in the Lord, and you will find He satisfies the
desires of your heart.”</b></h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whatever stretch of your journey you find yourself on today,
whatever yearnings wrench in your soul today, may you take comfort in knowing that
you are in relationship with the God who satisfies. Rest in the truth that His favor is not dependent
on your behavior nor are His blessings contingent on your obedience. Live with fierce and unshakable boldness to approach
the throne of the Father and have your thirsts quenched. And may we not be tempted to trust in the
promise rather than in Him who promises.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-36051993404051337032016-01-28T11:57:00.000-06:002016-01-28T11:57:23.640-06:00Wreckage<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhULOM6SdNIiDeJUAhJIVF_L_a_jW454qDt3LrstruKzPemqzhdNkaynJGhXIgXj8QrVkAVLK9lP2wri61U-FgdXKrzgQ1_GCWAGnbelJOAUg5lF_hopDN_mvjBvHOm0DxjSPzaRh0XEYU/s1600/Shipwreck-Stern-3000x2000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhULOM6SdNIiDeJUAhJIVF_L_a_jW454qDt3LrstruKzPemqzhdNkaynJGhXIgXj8QrVkAVLK9lP2wri61U-FgdXKrzgQ1_GCWAGnbelJOAUg5lF_hopDN_mvjBvHOm0DxjSPzaRh0XEYU/s320/Shipwreck-Stern-3000x2000.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why is it that the church is so afraid to talk about
brokenness? Why do we tremble in fear at
the thought of discussing anything having to do with a depth of pain or
struggle? We write it off with
platitudes of counterfeit care or the all-encompassing “I’ll keep you in my
prayers.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m not
saying that there aren’t times when those utterances are genuine I just think
that often times we’d rather pray for someone’s brokenness than make an effort
to engage it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This frustrates me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I recently started facilitating a service called “Renegade
Church.” It’s a place for the renegades,
the outliers, and the mess makers. It
was started with the vision to create a space where we talk about brokenness, a
place where we aren’t afraid of mess and struggle and doing everything wrong. I wanted to create a space where people who
don’t fit in the sparkling clean world of church could come and just be, where
they could come and experience the greatness of Jesus without all the baggage
that comes with it. Sunday morning I was
discussing this service with someone who was interested in attending when an
older man who was listening in to our conversation commented. “Is that really necessary?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is that really necessary?
Is a service like that REALLY necessary?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My answer was simply, “Yes, I absolutely believe it is.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I dream of the day when I can answer no to that
question. I dream of the day when a
service like that isn’t necessary because it’s common place in all
churches. I yearn for a time when our
timidity towards brokenness is stripped away.
Unfortunately today my answer remains, “Yes. It is absolutely necessary.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s necessary because brokenness is a reality. Times of struggle are a reality. I wish life in Christ meant we no longer hurt
or struggle but unfortunately we are still participants in a world that has
been broken by sin and brokenness is an unfortunate side effect of that
reality. Though our true identity is
whole and perfect in Christ our experience in this world is not always so and
if we cower at the thought of discussing such a truth we, in fact, allow it to overpower
us. So, in our efforts to disengage our
fear, we actually empower it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have this thought... a “what if” you might say. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What if, we have been lied to? What if we have built our worldviews on a
false idea? What if brokenness isn’t a
bad thing? What if being broken is
simply the beautiful beginning to being whole?
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So often we think of brokenness as the ending point. We see it as the negative result of something
destructive happening to a thing which was once whole. What if it’s actually the other way
around? What if, in reality, we all
begin broken and the true beauty of our new creation is built out of the rubble
of our broken beginning. What if wholeness
is the result of brokenness?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We all wish to believe that our original perfect state of wholeness
is that of a ship. It sails freely and
majestically on the water, and yet, it somehow ends up ship wrecked. Some fierce and unrelenting storm rages and
the ship ends up shipwrecked. How easy
it is for us to relate to this, that at one time all was good and now it’s
not. We all vainly wish for our origin
story to be birthed in the majesty of a calm sea. The truth is our origin is not in the ship
but in the shipwreck. We all begin as
tattered sails and rotted wood and it is only in our recognition of that fact
that we can see the true beauty in the new creation the Artist has fashioned
from the wreckage. See, the thing is, if we live our whole lives trying desperately
to be ships then we miss out on the beauty of our true design.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If we refuse to be aware of our brokenness we will never
understand the fullness of God’s grace.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I fear this is an inadequate attempt to put into words what
I feel is such a significant concept to discuss. I wish I had the eloquence with which to
express that which aches in my heart to be said, but then again, that might
just defeat the whole point. I conclude
with a desperate plea to all churches and all Christians, I beg of you do not
forsake the brokenness. Refocus and
retrain your mind to see the beauty in broken.
Walk amongst the wreckage with the Artist and watch as all things are
made new.</div>
<o:p></o:p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-29666568665751765452015-10-06T07:49:00.000-05:002015-10-06T07:58:35.798-05:00The Sin God<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgVOfSiJRAEoiR90ZJBS9D2iNI0jQ32ObuoZ3cMMdDVYpHptY9_jEjWQX5Nci_tvw62HpCP2MeX2Zeqd5whsrpL6g7Gt60ut4FYVA9QIgoT7IigrB74zhvhUmlzgo0Y-sLy-eSQMa9aIc/s1600/sin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgVOfSiJRAEoiR90ZJBS9D2iNI0jQ32ObuoZ3cMMdDVYpHptY9_jEjWQX5Nci_tvw62HpCP2MeX2Zeqd5whsrpL6g7Gt60ut4FYVA9QIgoT7IigrB74zhvhUmlzgo0Y-sLy-eSQMa9aIc/s320/sin.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today’s topic is a concept that I’ve been contemplating for
a while now. My friend <a href="https://www.facebook.com/Dr-Joe-Langley-1381243735447691/timeline/" target="_blank">Joe </a>likes to say,
“Christians are obsessed with sin.”
Which is a pretty disturbing statement in and of itself, but, as is true
to my nature, I want to take it a step further and say Christians make sin our
god. I don’t make that statement to
shock you, to upset you, to offend you, or to make you feel guilty though I am
certain that for some it will have those affects. I make that statement because it needs to be
said. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think sin has become our god because it’s what we talk
about most. I mean just think about it,
when was the last time you heard a sermon that didn’t talk about some sin or
another and how to fix it? How many
times do we pray begging God to forgive us of our sins wondering if He’s tired
of hearing the same confession over and over again? Our biggest focus in the church is on behavior
modification and obedience. We push away
and alienate those with “worse sin” than us spouting “love the sinner, hate the
sin” as our justification. We talk about
it, sing about it, pray about it, preach about it, write about it, and devote our
complete focus to it. We let our obsession
with it rule and direct our lives either with the purpose of avoiding it or
engaging in it. Is that not making sin
our god?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I write, speak, and teach the gospel of grace
regularly. I repetitively discuss the
finished work of Christ, His forgiveness and removal of ALL sins past, present,
and future. Countless times I have
spoken on the enormity of God’s grace the reaches down and grabs us in the
midst of our sin and makes us saints.
Just as many times I (and Paul) have written that NOTHING can separate
us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.
Even so, do you know what the most common question people ask me
is? The one that I am asked probably
once a week?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The number one question, the answer that everyone wants to
know, is… “What about grace when it comes to ____________ sin?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It absolutely blows my mind at times how people will nod
their heads and even let out an excited “amen” at the talk of God’s great love
and favor for us and then with the next breath ask, “But what about when I lie
to my boss? But what about when I get
angry with my kids? But what about the
woman next door and her new wife? But
what about that one guy at church with the porn addiction? But what about MY past?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I just can’t help but be sad and think to myself, oh you
poor people, you’ve missed the point of Jesus.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s the thing, Satan knows he’s been beat. He knows exactly who we are; that we are new
creations in Christ and incapable of being separated from Him or His love. In fact, I’m certain he knows these things
much better than we do. So, since he’s
been beat his only power now is in keeping us from believing in and
experiencing what we already possess.
His most brilliant tactic of all is that he keeps us so focused on our
sins (whether those already done or yet to come) that we completely miss out on
experiencing the freedom, peace, and rest that we already have.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then, as I believe is true with all things, where our eyes
are focused is inevitably what we walk towards bowing down to our golden calf of
religion forged in the fires of “try harder” and “pray longer.” We make sacrifices at an alter built with the
bricks of self-loathing and self-righteousness, praying desperately for God to
give us forgiveness not realizing that He already has. We beg and plead for mercy and He, looking
adorningly at Christ’s perfection in us, answers, “For what?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The biggest charge against this gospel of extreme grace is
that it’s easy on sin or that it overlooks sin.
Critics demand we offer a solution to the problem of sin and I say, what
sin? Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not
saying that I don’t fail. I’m not saying
that I don’t participate in, experience, and cause brokenness. I’m not saying that I’m not a complete mess
at times. I’m saying that Christ already
died for that. Should He be crucified
again each time I fail? And if Christ
already died for that, if He paid that price, settled that debt, why are we so
obsessed with the behavior that no longer defines us? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s incredibly sad really because while we’re so busy
talking about sin, how to manage it, which ones to confess, how to confess
them, which ones are unforgivable, and which are acceptable, guess what we’re
not doing? We’re not talking about
Jesus.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jesus, the one who we’re supposedly doing this all for. Jesus, the one who took all our sin upon
himself and carried the weight of it so we wouldn’t have to. Jesus, the Deity who slipped into our weak
and fragile skin and subjected himself to the worst pain imaginable for the
sole purpose of our redemption. He
offers us His divine birthright and yet how willing we are to make sin our god,
our lips wagging in worship of it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My answer to that age old question, “But what about...” is simply this: it’s been paid for. Whatever “it” is, it’s been paid for. In the midst of the decay, the grunge, grime,
and rank odor of your decomposing spirit, you were overwhelmed and overtaken by
the glory and grace of Life. So that,
though you were once a zombie seeking only the next piece of flesh that would
satisfy your unquenchable appetite, you have now been made alive and vibrant in
Christ. You are free to no longer live
for your next meal but to feast and be filled with all that you could ever wish
for or need. Sin makes a poor god. Let us take our eyes off it and fix them on
Christ.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
May you find freedom from a sin-focused life. May you come to realize and believe that even
the darkest and dirtiest of sins has already been judged, punished, and paid
for by Christ. And may this belief be
the foundation for a life overwhelmed by God’s scandalous grace. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-58416248817260103612015-08-25T07:08:00.000-05:002015-08-25T07:17:06.029-05:004 Lessons I Learned The Hard Way<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRotwNd6RiN4iFn2oPIOveWNYIKfKpPMyDOnjbAr8ksMepoxTEHUJJe9SJG-eoiZqqr1nPUpym_a4SV1CL3YLDRPuIriwXw6_axuE3mf_VDXSItElz2eA2E1kjj92mIHlpVXgeXDvs5SA/s1600/shutterstock_88227595-380x244.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRotwNd6RiN4iFn2oPIOveWNYIKfKpPMyDOnjbAr8ksMepoxTEHUJJe9SJG-eoiZqqr1nPUpym_a4SV1CL3YLDRPuIriwXw6_axuE3mf_VDXSItElz2eA2E1kjj92mIHlpVXgeXDvs5SA/s320/shutterstock_88227595-380x244.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I say that I learned these lessons the hard way what I
mean is that I learned then by… well, by screwing up. Which I tend to do quite a bit of and which
I’m grateful to say allows me to experience God’s grace in fresh and new ways
quite regularly. So, today I thought I’d
share a few of my screw ups with you all and the lessons I’ve learned from them
with the hope that you get a new perspective or at the very least be able to relate
to one or two of the struggles.<o:p></o:p></div>
<h3>
</h3>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">1) Sometimes silence speaks louder than words.</span></h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know some things about some stuff, and if I’m being honest
I do like to flex my intellectual muscles sometimes… Ok, Ok, a lot of
times. Some of that probably comes from
my voice and opinions being squelched at one time in my life and a desire to
make sure that doesn’t happen again. The
other part of that comes from the justice lover in me needing to make sure that
no (perceived) falsehood goes unchallenged and that no space of hurt goes
unredeemed. Which are innocent enough
desires, but maybe a little self-involved.
So, I talk and what happens is sometimes I talk so loudly that nobody
hears me. Then I find myself frustrated
and misunderstood and unheard. I end up
achieving the opposite of what I want.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just within the past year I’ve learned that sometimes my
silence speaks louder than my words.
Sometimes choosing to say nothing says everything. I have found that I have more power in one
sentence, well thought out and spoken softly, than I do in any long angry speech. How did I learn this? Well, by giving a lot of fruitless long angry
speeches that hurt people and sabotaged my message. Luckily, God didn’t vote me off the island!
In fact, in the midst of this, He called me to speak for Him and I was once
again overwhelmed by His grace. As
always, I find that He has much more faith in me than I do. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">2) Just because God brings something into your life doesn’t
mean you should try and fit it into your plans.</span></h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Talk about learning a lesson the hard way I feel like there
are times when this lesson still hasn’t quite sunk in! So here’s how this usually works in my
life: God gives me some lemons. They are
some pretty good looking lemons, perfectly ripe, and I think to myself, “Oh
these must be for the lemonade I was planning on making!” Well how do I know God wasn’t planning on
using those to make lemon cookies or lemon meringue pie, or a nice lemon
sorbet? Well, I don’t. I just know that I want to make lemonade and
God gave me lemons. I get one ingredient
and assume I know what recipe God’s using.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I fully believe that God brings things into our lives with
purpose and planning. I also believe
that even if we make the wrong thing with our lemons that doesn’t mean God’s
going to be upset with us or that somehow our lemonade will be cursed. I’ve just learned that maybe I should ask God
what recipe He’s using before I start squeezing lemons. After all, His recipes always seem to turn
out better than mine for some reason. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">3) Self-care is not selfish.</span></h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So here I am, the retreat minister, who is constantly
telling people of the need and benefit of resting and being still, and I am
actually the worst at taking time for myself.
I have to purposely put on my calendar “Do nothing” in order for me have
a day of rest. Seriously, I schedule
times of nothingness. I know this sounds
like a bad Seinfeld episode, but really it’s true! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For a long time I thought that doing anything for myself was
being selfish and so I worked and worked and worked for other people until I
finally just collapsed in exhaustion and burnout. You add the belief that self-care is bad to
the fact that I have an anxiety disorder and you get panic attacks, depression,
and addiction. A recipe for destruction
if there ever was one! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One thing that really opened my eyes to the fact that not
only is self-care a good thing but it’s actually something needed and
important, is discovering that even Jesus took time to get away and be alone
and rest. You see this several times in
the gospels, especially after times that are more draining and demanding of His
spirit. He would get in a boat alone and
sail across the sea or he would go for an early morning walk and leave His
disciples sleeping. I imagine during
those times He took naps or maybe just laid on the beach and listened to sounds
of the ocean, taking in the love of the Father.
Self-care needs to be a priority for us.
We can’t give to others if we don’t take time to receive from the Father. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">4) Independence is not the same thing as strength. </span></h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was at a conference recently during which one of the
speakers ended with this prayer, “God protect me from the illusion that I am an
independent being.” I asked him
afterwards what he meant by that and he told me, “Choosing to live independently
is choosing to live outside of community, and ultimately leads us to believe
that it is up to us to get everything together on our own. Where is there room for Christ in that?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am STILL trying to retrain my mind to see the lie that
being independent is being strong. We
were created for community, to bear one another’s burdens, we were never meant
to do life on our own. Not only are we
hardwired for community with one another but we were designed for community
with God! From the moment of humanity's creation God shows Himself to be a God of community, a God who wishes to walk
with us in the coolness of the garden.
When we, when I, pursue independence I’m essentially saying to God,
“Nah, I don’t wanna hang out with you, I’m good on my own thanks.” I exchange His strength for my own which, is
a pretty piss poor substitute. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you can relate to any of these, I hope maybe my lessons
offered some insight into your struggle.
If you can’t relate to any of these, well then maybe you can just learn
the lessons vicariously through me so you can avoid the hard part! Either way, my
desire is that you see the greatness of God’s grace interwoven in the nooks and
crevices of the hard lessons and that you get the wonderful opportunity to
experience it in your own life. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-78246046592437570892015-08-19T08:11:00.004-05:002015-08-19T08:11:56.095-05:00The Misfits<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjys4akeE_HWPo4VLjscvtVzYmRc25ENYeA9iXwbPzsHJxttSMj_EhXcFAlcFQBaBcwWpLuoNNi3Pxch50ufer4PHX91tkNiUzwwU4uALcW2xRBheGpuL4OMwzf2FVrouUsCZdI5NzWw30/s1600/stand_out_cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjys4akeE_HWPo4VLjscvtVzYmRc25ENYeA9iXwbPzsHJxttSMj_EhXcFAlcFQBaBcwWpLuoNNi3Pxch50ufer4PHX91tkNiUzwwU4uALcW2xRBheGpuL4OMwzf2FVrouUsCZdI5NzWw30/s400/stand_out_cover.jpg" width="400" /></a>I’m sure it will come as a huge and utter shock to everyone
when I say this, but when I was in high school I wasn’t one of the cool
kids. I know, I know, I’m sure EVERYONE
assumed I was like homecoming queen or something! *sarcasm*<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was really good at weaving my way in and out of different
social groups, “playing the field” so to speak, but as for actually being one
of the cool kids that everyone wanted to be like and hang around… yeah I sucked
at that. The reason I sucked at that is
probably because I wasn’t too great at playing the whole “look perfect, act
perfect, and dress perfect” game. I was
more into the “wear baggy clothes, only brush your hair if you have to, and
listen to angsty punk rock music” game. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I’ve always been kind of different in the sense that
I never went with the flow of what everyone else was doing. In junior high my differentness made me a
target for the ones who were better at conforming. With that came name calling and peer
pressure. I quickly learned to wear my
individuality like armor so that it couldn’t be used to hurt me. I went to a private school and so expressing
myself was quite a challenge but I managed to find a way through bright colored
shoes and baggy pants. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I don’t care what anyone thinks about me!” I declared.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But it did care. I
cared so much that I tied my identity to my differentness. I wanted to be seen as a rebel. I wanted to be known as a rebel. This is who I was. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because of this it was impossible for me to relent any part
of myself for the sake of other people’s comfort. I couldn’t cover my tattoos or wear pink or
show my soft side because, as I would argue, that would be “hiding who I
am.” Which sounds pretty reasonable, at
least it did at the time, but it sabotaged by ability to create spaces of grace
for people around me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s this verse in 1 Corinthians where Paul talks about
this idea of “being all things to all men” and he also talks about “being free
from all so I make myself a servant to all.”
This use to be a really frustrating passage for me and each time after
reading it I would curse Paul’s name and be like, “Really, dude? Ain’t nobody got time for that!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>1 Corinthians 9:19-23 (ESV)</b> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
For though I am free
from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. To
the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I
became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might
win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the
law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might
win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the
weak. I have become all things to all people that by all means I might save
some. I do it all for the sake of the
gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve heard some argue that these verses are proof that we
need to be extra careful that we’re behaving correctly. Recently, someone I know used the last part
of that passage as an argument as to why we should mix grace and law in our
sermons because “people can’t handle extreme grace.” In essence, we should water down and conform
our truth so that everyone stays happy/attending church/paying tithe. (Insert angry Jess tirade here).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do NOT agree with either of those things. In fact, I’ve recently had somewhat of an
“ah-ha” moment when it comes to this passage and it doesn’t frustrate me nearly
as much anymore. What Paul is saying
here is not that we should bend and conform truth to fit within everyone’s
belief system. What Paul is talking
about here is the idea that we should meet people where they’re at. That we should get down in the mud and grunge
of their life (or come up to their white towers) and show them why they need
the gospel. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back to high school Jess, I was unable to relinquish any
part of my “style” or attitude because my identity was tied to it, and really
ultimately because I was insecure in my identity. I lived in bondage to this identity and did
all I could to tighten the shackles.
Paul is able to minister to different people groups why? Because he is confident in his identity of
freedom in Christ! He is no longer bound
to have to look, act, or communicate the gospel one particular way. See, it’s not the message that changes, it’s
the vessel. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what does that mean for me now? Well, sometimes it means that I can cover my
tattoos when I go to speak in more conservative churches. Other times it means
I get to Mohawk my hair and wear ripped jeans and hang out with awesome youth
students. Sometimes it means I speak out
for the voiceless and other times it means I stay silent and allow people to
chew on and work through truth. Some
days it means I get to be a cool kid but most days it means I’m still a
misfit. And you know what? I kind of love being a misfit! Besides, there is one place I fit perfectly,
intertwined and tangled in the spirit of my Savior, and really what could be
better than that? There may be days when
I don’t fit, when people reject me and exclude me, but I am accepted and
treasured by the Creator and Carver of the universe—The ultimate Cool Kid. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God is limitless and therefore the gospel is limitless. It is for the misfits and it’s for the cool
kids, and let me tell you both desperately need the freedom that it brings. It’s for the high society and the homeless. It’s for the self-righteous and the self-loathing. That’s the beauty of grace really, that all
need it and all can access it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, today, may you be set free from the bondage of your
self-made identity. May you come to see
and be confident in your true identity as a free and flawless child of
God. May you be sabotaged by the gospel
of grace. May you embrace your misfit
side and may it empower you to meet people where they’re at with the freeing
power of God’s grace. And may you be
fully aware that rejects are royalty in the kingdom of God. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-36498180894553966522015-08-14T08:53:00.001-05:002015-08-14T08:57:59.627-05:00Only God Can Judge Me (but He Already Has)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBIn4xBpmvt9aYqUO9gPLls-rEw6tOGH4QGl5ydEgIhor_gtTuoVvzyeiQIjFV-LCjtSQbZqy2e74YLuQJ05iRiiPIAnlZyo6oUkNhIJxnC3fs5gbzubYJsQD0amaIHf49DTUogUTq4Gs/s1600/Judgment-Discharged-in-Bankruptcy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBIn4xBpmvt9aYqUO9gPLls-rEw6tOGH4QGl5ydEgIhor_gtTuoVvzyeiQIjFV-LCjtSQbZqy2e74YLuQJ05iRiiPIAnlZyo6oUkNhIJxnC3fs5gbzubYJsQD0amaIHf49DTUogUTq4Gs/s320/Judgment-Discharged-in-Bankruptcy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One night this week I listened to some one speak of God with
vigor and passion. But it was not the
God I know. There was fire in his words,
commitment in his voice, and energy in his eyes, all fueled by a lifetime of
belief. He called others to his cause
and he was happy to do so. But I was
saddened. That night I heard once again
of a God not unfamiliar to me, the God of judgment. The God that leaves His believers trembling
in fear at the thought of falling short.
The God of demand and expectation.
The unsatisfied God. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sat in silence as I heard these words focusing all my
energy in controlling my facial expressions so it wasn’t blatantly obvious that
I was not a fan of what was being said.
I thought to myself <i>how can anyone
serve such a God? </i>How easily I seem to
forget that I once believed in Him too.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, let me be clear, it’s not that I don’t believe in a God
of judgement or complete and pure justice, because I do. In fact, I so believe in a God of judgement
that it requires me to believe His standard in much too high for my reach. His standard is so high and so resolute that
He is the only one who could accomplish it.
Which, as I understand it, is the whole point of Jesus. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The way I see it is, if you believe in a God that is still judging
us, you must believe that Jesus wasn’t enough.
Not only must you believe that Jesus wasn’t enough but you also must
have the audacity to say that somehow your measly acts of obedience could pick
up where He fell short and get you the rest of the way into God’s
pleasure. Are we really that arrogant?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One might argue against me, “There are many verses that
speak of God’s wrath and judgment in the Bible!
What about those, huh?!” Once
again I repeat myself, I am not saying that God is not a God of judgment, I
just happen to believe that the judgment has already happened. If you don’t believe me, if you think God’s
wrath has not been quenched, I dare you to re-read the account of Christ’s crucifixion
and say to me that what happened to Jesus wasn’t enough. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And did God do this because He was angry with His Son? Of course not! He did this because Christ
LITERALLY became the sin of the world—ALL the sin of the world. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so
that in him we would become the righteousness of God. <b>-2 Cor 5:21 (NET)</b></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He did this so that while we were actively against God and deserving
of judgement, the judgement could be poured out and we could be reconciled to
God FOREVER. Now that’s some serious one
way, bring you to your knees, love!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
But God demonstrates his own love for us, in that while we
were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, because we have now
been declared righteous by his blood, we will be saved through him from God’s
wrath. <b>Romans 5:8-9 (NET)<o:p></o:p></b></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Look, you guys know me, you know I’m not shy about my junk
(and there’s a lot of it). You know I
screw up more often than I get things right.
I fall short more often than I make it to the finish line. I break things, because that’s what people
do. That, however, is not who I am. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because Christ got it right, I am perfect even when I screw
up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because Christ finished it, I am a success even when I fall
short.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because Christ reconciled things, I am an ambassador of
wholeness even when I break things.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
See, it has everything to do with Christ and nothing to do
with me. That’s what makes grace so
outlandish really. The One who deserved
blessing received wrath so that we might share in glory. How could anything we do ever compare to that
gift?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
May you know, confidently and completely, that God is not
angry with you. May you stand boldly in
the truth that there is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ
Jesus. May you be empowered by the knowledge
that God’s wrath was satisfied by Christ’s willing and chosen sacrifice on your
behalf. May you wrestle and struggle
with these facts and may coming to believe them reassure you that who you are
is not defined by what you do. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-17081378934081452432015-07-23T11:27:00.000-05:002015-07-23T11:27:47.208-05:00Junk in the Trunk<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm8mYp7g1yTzQcBAODNKZ1eejtx8MEJoH51ruA5WriT3Qg9xYvtakdJbJ74Bfdsp9ah76zc_1dgYWAqLitQj2mroGGuM0wFwLo4ypTtN-BvUT6eHuFfBAEteM2EsSU9W2ahPh_6McaECM/s1600/Jesus+hand+on+cross.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm8mYp7g1yTzQcBAODNKZ1eejtx8MEJoH51ruA5WriT3Qg9xYvtakdJbJ74Bfdsp9ah76zc_1dgYWAqLitQj2mroGGuM0wFwLo4ypTtN-BvUT6eHuFfBAEteM2EsSU9W2ahPh_6McaECM/s320/Jesus+hand+on+cross.jpg" width="320" /></a>Recently I’ve been dealing with some junk. Some human junk. Because I’m human and we humans <o:p></o:p></div>
have quite a
bit of junk, don’t we? We have quite a
bit of junk and we bump into one another and get each other’s junk on us and
then we have more junk between each other because of the other’s junk! Confused
yet? <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I have some junk.
Some of it is my own junk and some of it is junk that got tossed on me
from junky people that strolled through my life at some point. Recently in my counseling sessions I’ve had
to dig up and deal with some especially gross junk. This is junk that I had buried so deep and
had ignored for so long that it seriously stank up my world when I dragged it
out. Now, this particular junk is some
that I have because someone hurt me.
Someone I loved and trusted hurt me deeply. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This junk is especially cumbersome and the longer I hang on
to it the more it seems to spread and create mold and infection in other
otherwise junk free parts of my life. Now,
I could easily get rid of this junk. I’d
just have to, you know, forgive the person that has hurt me the most in my
life, no big deal, right? Wrong. There’s this war inside me where on one side
of the battlefield is this desperate desire for freedom and release from the
hurt of the memory and on the other side is this deep need for justice and
punishment for the hurter. And so I hold
tightly to my hatred and anger thinking that it somehow gives me control over the
junk. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Forgiveness is hard.
I think it’s the single hardest thing for us as humans to do. Why?
Because it requires us to relinquish our control. Not only that but quite honestly some part of
me believes that if I were to forgive that person for that thing I would be
saying that what they did was ok, that what they did is free from
punishment. This is a lie that I have subconsciously
and subtly bought into and while I grasp tightly to my control I am held
captive by it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This week I was reading once again the account of Jesus’s crucifixion
in the gospels (Matthew 27, Mark 15, Luke, 23, and John 19). Crucifixion is still to this day considered
one of the most gruesome and torturous forms of execution and that’s just how
He died. Before Jesus even made it to
the cross he was extensively beaten to the edge of death, kept up for hours,
dehydrated and starved, mocked and stripped naked, and crowned with thorns (and
not little rose thorns either, big ole boys) that were beaten into His skull
with a rod. I mean no wonder they had to
have someone carry His cross for Him it’s amazing that He was even standing by
that point! Then after all that, that’s
when He faced the most excruciating form of death known to mankind. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of my favorite verses is Galatians 2:20, <b>“I have been crucified with Christ, and it
is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So the life I now live in the
body, I live because of the faithfulness of the Son of God, who loved me and
gave himself for me.” </b>I have often
been overwhelmed by the implications of this verse for me personally. That my screw ups, my sin, my failures, every
time I wasn’t enough to measure up to God’s perfect standard, were nailed to
that cross with Christ and that His perfection was credited to me—it’s
incredulous. When I think about that
verse this way I find myself heartbroken that Christ had to endure such
suffering on my behalf. That on its own
is an unfathomable love. But… this week
I had a new revelation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I read the verse again this week I found my mind
wandering back to my junk. Inside me surged
anger and hatred and bitterness and I began to think of all the things that
junky person deserved to have happen to them, including but not limited to: being
tortured, beaten, and having their reputation ruined. And then… I had a breakdown. I had a breakdown because a thought sneaked
through my mind and I’m sure it was God.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>You mean like Christ
was tortured, beaten, and mocked? <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was then that I became truly aware, maybe for the first
time, that not only have I been crucified with Christ but so have the people
who have hurt me. I pictured that
person, that evil awful person who deserved punishment, there on that cross
dripping with blood limp and lifeless, and I wept. I wept not because I was sorry, but because
this was the first time I was happy to see Jesus hanging there on that
cross. My God… oh, my God, loved me so
much that He not only cleansed me of MY sin, but endured unimaginable pain so
that those who hurt me deeply would not go unpunished. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It doesn’t make sense.
I know. Then again, God’s never
really been One to do things how we would do them so I’m not surprised
much. So what does this mean for
us? Well, it means we are free to
forgive. It means that we can let go of
that hurt. It means that forgiving them doesn’t
mean they get away with it and Jesus has the scars to prove it. It means that God loves us more than people
hurt us and He’s willing to put it all on the line to prove that. It means that, once again, His grace is more dangerous
and extravagant than religion can contain.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not going to lie to you and say that after this
realization all my junk is gone and I’ve completely forgiven the junk bringer
and life is all rainbows and unicorns now because that’s ridiculous. I’ve still got hurt to work through, but I’m
getting better at learning to rest and let Jesus do the work. A few weeks ago a friend of mine said to me, “People
talk about healing like it doesn’t leave scars.” Healing leaves scars. (Just ask doubting Thomas I hear he’s seen
some doosies). It’s ok to hurt. It’s ok to struggle. YOU ARE FREE TO STRUGGLE. But you are also free to have healing and wholeness
and Jesus has all that you could ever want or need. I know because I have a lot of junk and I
have a lot of Jesus and you know what?
Jesus is pretty great at junk clean up.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
So may you hurt. May
you drag your junk out of that dark corner and be stunned by it’s stink. May you cry and breakdown and be empty. From that emptiness may you be overwhelmed by
Christ’s infinite fullness. May you experience
the audacity of Christ’s extreme forgiveness and love for you. And from it may you find the strength to
forgive those who have hurt you and find that it sets free in you more than you
thought was held captive. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-85616082214366074102015-07-13T18:35:00.002-05:002015-07-13T18:35:25.978-05:00Counter Culture<div class="MsoNormal">
My best friend is pretty wonderful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She really is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she’s the best of all the best friends
out there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You might be thinking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">well my best friend is pretty great too... </i>and
that may be true but I can promise you that they are not nearly as great as MY
best friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the innumerably cool
things about her is that she is from Brazil.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m super lucky because that means, through our friendship, I get to
share in and experience a different culture (and also eat lots of desserts made
with sweetened condensed milk).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recently, over the July 4<sup>th</sup> holiday, her cousin
came to visit America for the very first time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We all went together to Kaboom Town in Addison so that he could get the
full experience of an Independence Day extravaganza.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was so interesting hearing him talk about
all the differences between American culture and Brazilian culture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One thing he said that really stuck out to me
was how amazed he was at our patriotism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He said that in Brazil, even on their independence day, people don’t wear
shirts with their flag on it or have their national colors on dishes and wall
art and baseball caps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was so
difficult for me to try and picture what it would look like if we did that here
in America because my way of life is the only one I have ever known. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just like we have different cultures from country to country
there is also a different culture between heaven and humanity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I mean is that the way God does things
and the way we do things are very very different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Humanity operates in a do to get
culture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We work 40 hours a week and we
get a paycheck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We respect our peers and
we expect to be respected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We break the
law and we get punishment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is how
humanity relates to one another. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The culture of heaven is contrary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thing about God is that He gives without
expectation and without demand for return.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He comes and He gives and He speaks to us, us who are undeserving, us
who are insignificant, us who are failures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He says to us—“Expect of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Demand of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Require of
me.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We who are unfit to even wipe the
dust from his feet are given the audacious ability to boldly demand of Him with
the promise that He will give abundantly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What a scandalous culture.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some would shout, “HERESY!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And they would be right. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgivA3TyifqPqbnF7VBVc3s7Ya8yij4acDJG9nL1WO4AqghobiflcLODY4jaSdMHR-oUpzHz9SXrqyxXh3xa1tiodVddy2C36IhIYnQWs8GEwZ9OQmngILov-CTBlFQV2O2PGVZlcvM0MM/s1600/Counter_Cultural.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgivA3TyifqPqbnF7VBVc3s7Ya8yij4acDJG9nL1WO4AqghobiflcLODY4jaSdMHR-oUpzHz9SXrqyxXh3xa1tiodVddy2C36IhIYnQWs8GEwZ9OQmngILov-CTBlFQV2O2PGVZlcvM0MM/s400/Counter_Cultural.jpg" width="400" /></a><o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is heretical to our culture because it is contrary to
everything we have ever known.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is in
opposition to our very being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is
divergent from our civilization.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And…
isn’t that kind of the point?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Should our
God not be different from this world?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am thankful that God operates differently than we do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m thankful because I am painfully aware of
what an unhappy and selfish god that I make.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m thankful because I know full well that serving a god like me leads
to a life of drunkenness and depression and destruction and devastation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am thankful because my God is satisfied
when I am gluttonous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am thankful
because my God is patient when I am petulant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am thankful because my God is extravagant when I am stingy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And most of all I am thankful because sets He
free what I have bound up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
So may you discover a new culture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>May you find that God relates differently
than you do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>May you be overwhelmed by a
one-way love that breaks down walls and sets captives free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And may you be fearless enough to let heaven
overtake your humanity. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-1767978319258648832015-07-01T18:30:00.000-05:002015-07-01T18:30:29.728-05:00Sinning Saints<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7NJ-1LeKHul8Ik7rShN1D43ZBNbbiyAcGruFKFxADzXCvKcxZfLh2kPnS2Q0lryw7iuZJhFw4JkyhjXjAUBX_qzdlYsIdUTUUvekBq7BliuLkIYnCz6JuDIGVdngqwJjNqeQnQn_EoII/s1600/Freedom+graffiti.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7NJ-1LeKHul8Ik7rShN1D43ZBNbbiyAcGruFKFxADzXCvKcxZfLh2kPnS2Q0lryw7iuZJhFw4JkyhjXjAUBX_qzdlYsIdUTUUvekBq7BliuLkIYnCz6JuDIGVdngqwJjNqeQnQn_EoII/s320/Freedom+graffiti.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Brace yourselves for a shocking and mind blowing
announcement.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Are you ready?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Are you sitting down?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I, Jess Hays, was wrong about something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I know, I know, I’m as shocked as you are about this but
hopefully we can get through this difficult time together. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Back in November of 2013 I wrote a blog entitled “<a href="http://journeywithoutadestination.jess-hays.com/2013/11/the-sinner-saint.html" target="_blank">The SinnerSaint</a>.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In it I presented the idea that
we are at all times simultaneously sinner and saint.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went on to discuss the argument that we are
holy spirits occupying a broken body and at war with a sinful soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In essence I was saying, “We’re pretty screwed
up but God still loves us anyway.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the time this was a compelling argument, radical even
compared to what I had believed for such a long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I dissect it now, I realize that it was
really my attempt to reconcile the destruction and devastation that I am so
often bent towards and the far more radical reality that God relates to me as a
holy being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I think about it now I realize that I fell for a false
but common way of thinking, the belief that my behavior is my identity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think we all believe this in some way or
another, that what we do is who we are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I mean think about it, if I lie am I not a liar?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I cheat, a cheater?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I murder, a murderer?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I sin, well then doesn’t that make me a
sinner?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is how humanity labels one
another—by our actions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even Batman
says, “It’s not what’s underneath but what you do that defines you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As devastating as it is to admit, Batman and God sometimes
disagree and this is one such case.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
soon as we take in Christ’s perfect sacrifice we are immediately and completely
made righteous, holy, perfect, and beautiful in the eyes of the Father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This makes complete sense since because from
what I’ve read about God He’s an all or nothing kind of guy, I mean, you don’t
really ever see Him doing things halfway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Oneness with Christ means all of Him in all of me, no half way, no sorta
kinda, but ALL.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are SOOOOOOOOOO
many verses in the Bible (I’ll add some to the end of this post) that talk
about us being righteous and perfect I just can’t see how we can call ourselves
sinners anymore. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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See, because divinity works differently than we do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In Christ, our identity is not rooted in what
we do but rather what has been done for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Who we are then becomes founded in who He is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He doesn’t just pitch a tent in the corner of
your identity; He is intimately and eternally fused with every part of who you
are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know what you’re thinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You’re reading this and thinking, “Yeah that sounds really cool and all
but I still do sinful things, like a lot, and how can I be completely perfect
if I sin all the time?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First of all, join the club! Secondly, to that doubt I say
this—our belief always affects our behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Here is how sly Satan is, he convinces us that our behavior determines
our identity thus causing us to BELIEVE that we are sinners which in turn
causes us to BEHAVE like sinners. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Talk
about a vicious cycle! I recently used the analogy of a girl who is
anorexic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every day she looks in the
mirror and she sees herself as fat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
true reflection may be skin and bones but in her eyes she is bulges and
cellulose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because she sees herself this
way she will continue to starve herself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is how it is with us and sin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Though we are in fact saints as long as we look in the mirror and see a
sinner we will continue to behave like one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Satan’s goal is not to make us sin; his goal is to convince us that
Jesus hasn’t already paid for it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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A friend of mine said once that he thinks as Christians we worship
sin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s a pretty harsh statement but
I can’t disagree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We preach countless
messages on it, we pray about it, we read books on how to stop it, we get mad
when other people are doing it, we lead protests and campaigns against it, it
sure seems to be our biggest focus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Has
sin not become our god?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The bottom line is this we are not sinner saints.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are saints who, more often than not,
forget who we are and then behave sinfully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Our identity is not defined by what we do but by what Christ did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>May we all take our eyes off of our sin (and
everyone else’s) and fix them firmly on the God who makes all things new.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>May we find new freedom to rest from our
efforts to be good people as we become aware of our complete righteousness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>May we be liberated to love the people around
us based on their identity and not on their actions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And may our minds be renewed each and every
day to enlighten us with a deeper understanding of the greatness of His
grace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Galatians 2:20 (NET)<br />I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who
live, but Christ lives in me. So the life I now live in the body, I live
because of the faithfulness of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself
for me.<br /><o:p> </o:p></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<o:p></o:p>Phillipians 3:15 (NET)<br />Therefore let those of us who are “perfect” embrace this
point of view. If you think otherwise, God will reveal to you the error of your
ways.<br /><o:p></o:p></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<o:p> </o:p>Romans 4:4-5 (NET)<br />Now to the one who works, his pay is not credited due to
grace but due to obligation. But to the one who does not work, but believes in
the one who declares the ungodly righteous, his faith is credited as
righteousness.<br /><o:p></o:p></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<o:p> </o:p>Romans 8:1-2 (NET)<br />There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in
Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the life-giving Spirit in Christ Jesus has set
you free from the law of sin and death.<br /><o:p></o:p></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<o:p> </o:p>2 Corinthians 5:21 (NET)<br />God made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so
that in him we would become the righteousness of God.<br /><o:p></o:p></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<o:p> </o:p>2 Corinthians 3:17-18 (NET)<br />Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord
is present, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled faces reflecting the
glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of
glory to another, which is from the Lord, who is the Spirit.<br /><o:p></o:p></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<o:p> </o:p>Colossians 1:21-22 (NET)<br />And you were at one time strangers and enemies in your minds
as expressed through your evil deeds, but now he has reconciled you by his
physical body through death to present you holy, without blemish, and blameless
before him</blockquote>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-57928736633821949292015-05-15T15:19:00.000-05:002018-05-09T06:32:20.721-05:00Joy<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<i>My brothers and sisters, consider it nothing but joy when you fall into
all sorts of trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces
endurance. And let endurance have its perfect effect, so that you will be
perfect and complete, not deficient in anything. </i></h3>
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>James 1:2-4 (NET)<o:p></o:p></b></i></h3>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Over the past several months I have come to truly appreciate
this verse. To say that my faith has
been tested during this time seems somewhat of an understatement so allow me to
elaborate on exactly what that means to me at the moment.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My faith in people has been shaken.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My faith in the institution of church has worn thin.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My faith in my own abilities has been demolished.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My faith in good’s existence in this world has been rattled.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFyM-7aJUiBK1Y4VROkrnGvGIR-e7hynvNbTg44IMjuSAVZvboJxW43PlIuVhu6_olp6WzqQzitbZ8Hc08x5rjICgJXdXO_IxDe8Y-PiN01VZGekBoXDGBsjVWaSaeq22kUdF6TYVnkQo/s1600/Endurance_article-new-thumbnail_ehow_images_a05_5f_96_muscular-endurance-800x800.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFyM-7aJUiBK1Y4VROkrnGvGIR-e7hynvNbTg44IMjuSAVZvboJxW43PlIuVhu6_olp6WzqQzitbZ8Hc08x5rjICgJXdXO_IxDe8Y-PiN01VZGekBoXDGBsjVWaSaeq22kUdF6TYVnkQo/s320/Endurance_article-new-thumbnail_ehow_images_a05_5f_96_muscular-endurance-800x800.jpg" width="320" /></a>In the midst of all this something beautiful happened. Something frustrating and painful and
beautiful. As my security was stripped
away and I found myself exposed, alone, and vulnerable, I discovered how much
of my worth and identity I had placed in that security. I was so angry, really just consumed with
hurt and anger and bitterness and I started saying things like, “I don’t
deserve this!” and “Don’t they know how much I’ve done!” Soon my anger revealed my self-righteousness.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The thing is, despite my self-righteous heart and desire for
self-salvation from this hole of depression I was quickly sinking into, I found
myself completely and utterly powerless.
Powerless to save myself and powerless to save to the people that I
love. Here in this powerlessness is when
I became devastatingly aware that I had reached the rock bottom of my
self. The enormity of my pride became
very evident to me as well as its uselessness, and slowly but surely I began to
experience the painful liberation of God bending my will to His. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have become embarrassingly cognizant of the worthlessness
of my own efforts, the filth of people’s praise, and how addicted I am to both
of those things. I work and strive under
the guise of service while my selfishness pushes the accelerator on my
motivation. I am the chief of sinners,
the master of manipulation, the essence of hypocrisy, and I am ashamed of the
casualties left behind in my pursuit for self-satisfaction.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But….<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As is true to His nature, I am embraced by the Saver if
sinners, the Master of redemption, the Essence of authenticity, and He is proud
of me. He is for me. He has faith in me when I so often lack
it. I am deficient and He satisfies. I am weary and He carries me on. I am a failure and He perfects me. I am broken and He completes me. His faithfulness is not limited by my
expectation and His goodness is not limited by my belief. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
See, because it’s not about me. It’s never been about me. My ability, my rags I’ve esteemed to be
riches, are overwhelmed and outdone by the unfathomable value of His
glory. A glory that He pours out onto me
with every breath I breathe before I can even form the words to ask for
it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
And so I endure. Not
simply to survive the trial but to find joy in journey. As John the Baptist said so impeccably, “He must
become greater; I must become less.” May the greatness of His grace sabotage my
self-salvation plans and may there be joy in the demolition of my pride. </div>
<o:p></o:p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-40501189165278338782015-04-01T21:07:00.000-05:002015-04-01T21:07:48.859-05:00The Tattooed Man<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7nHgObBNSLOYU61wr1kYlMsdPpiZc1Pe5vpJ9Y9gp9UrrmI9sg9L2mJAvjTZi4c1j14ZhP7PM0_E_42YFsAmih99LYcdqanJusjo81S1xjr35bHckjwkgVnrRrRwxptObZscqQ31oH6g/s1600/87acdad65b0d1df6dee317ef02e8cdf8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7nHgObBNSLOYU61wr1kYlMsdPpiZc1Pe5vpJ9Y9gp9UrrmI9sg9L2mJAvjTZi4c1j14ZhP7PM0_E_42YFsAmih99LYcdqanJusjo81S1xjr35bHckjwkgVnrRrRwxptObZscqQ31oH6g/s1600/87acdad65b0d1df6dee317ef02e8cdf8.jpg" height="320" width="224" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She sat in the familiar darkness; her body curled up as
small as she could make it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She trembled
as the cold tingling of the harsh stone floor forced itself against her exposed
flesh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The musty smell of oppression and
unbathed skin filled the air and she longed for freedom from this place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had been here for so long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here in this dark unkempt cell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had resigned from cries for help for some
time now deciding that it was pointless to wish for anything other than confinement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was her home now, this prison.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The most unbearable part of her incarceration
was not the hard floor or the wretched smell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It wasn’t the constant darkness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The worst part of it all was how alone she was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Silence shook her very soul as she longed for
someone, anyone, to just be with her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Soon… she stopped longing for anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She became content in captivity. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One day, something changed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She looked up from her hunched position in the corner to see something
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brilliance blinded her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her hands cupped
tightly over her eyes, she could see slightly through her fingers that the
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Suddenly two strong hands grabbed hers and gently pulled
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his short brown hair was wild and ungroomed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
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stretched into a smile that she gawked at.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Those eyes… they looked past her, straight into the depths of her
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Tears made streaks down her soot covered cheeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He reached up and softly wiped them away with
calloused hands, and she caught a glimpse of the scars that marked his
wrists.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Don’t cry, love,” he whispered
to her softly his eyes filled with compassion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
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arms wrapped her up tightly as her heaving sobs echoed off the walls of her
cell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When her tears finally stopped he
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free.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At first, panic knotted in the
pit of her stomach, but then he took her hand in his.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Come, follow me,” his voice untangled the
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Slowly, she got to her feet, grasping tightly to his rough
hand intertwined in hers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Carefully he
led her out of her cell, down the dark and narrow hallway, out the heavy doors
of the prison, and into a beautiful field covered in tall grass and fragrant
flowers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The wind caressed her skin and
the sun overwhelmed her with warmth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
sweet smell of flowers and freedom ravished her nostrils.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She let go of his hand and ran recklessly
through the field until finally she collapsed peacefully on the soft
grass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He lay down beside her and they
stared up at the stunningly blue sky dotted with bright white clouds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She laid her head on his chest and listened
to the rhythmic thumping of his heart looking adoringly up at him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You are free now,” he said, “You never have
to go back to that place.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She nodded
silently and snuggled into his chest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
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dared to believe him. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-26082354428789692812015-02-16T11:29:00.000-06:002015-02-16T11:29:47.817-06:00Midnight Love Letter<h2>
<b>My most loved one,</b></h2>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know that right now you are sitting alone in your room
plagued by sleeplessness. I know that
your heart is heavy and your emotions are astir and you feel like no one can
understand the chasm that seems ever widening in your heart. People you love have hurt you, people you
trust have forsaken you, and people you respect have fallen short (as humans so
often do). You feel alone and unwanted
and so you lie awake as silent tears fall unheard down your cheeks. I am so sorry that you have to hurt; that the
brokenness of this world has caused you pain.
I’m afraid that it may be causing you to believe that you are something
you are not. Tonight, you have been
rejected by people who once accepted you.
Tonight, you feel as if your words are meaningless. Tonight, you tell yourself that it would be
better if you just gave everyone what they seem so desperately to want—for you
to shut up and go away. Tonight, you are
believing lies. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will not sit by and be silent as these lies weave their
way into the shadowed corners of your mind.
I have pursued you even in your most unlovely of moments, don’t you know
I would never leave you alone? I am
faithful even when others are not and I will never forsake you to face the lies
alone. Have you forgotten so quickly the
price I paid to make you mine? Do you
not remember how valuable you are to me?
Let me remind you once more. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have called you for a glorious purpose, one that you
cannot even fully dream or imagine. I,
myself, have given you those words you seem to despise so much right now, even
in your silence you speak for me. I see
you, for all that you are, and have not only accepted you but have adopted
you. Not only are you not alone as I am
with you always, but I also stand before you as your defender and stand
fortified as your refuge. I champion
your cause and lead heavenly legions to fight for your dreams. Even when your faith in me falters, my faith
in you is relentless and unwavering. You
are unfathomably and immeasurably loved.
You are more beautiful and more precious to me than the wonders of
galaxies. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hey, look at me. Lift
your eyes, darling. You are strong,
stronger than you even know, and you have NO reason to hang your head. I cannot promise you that the pain will go
away. I cannot say that the heartbreak of
rejection and the agony of aloneness will cease. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I will promise you this—my grace is enough for you. And you are enough for me. That’s right, the you right now with red eyes
and tear stained pillow cases. The you
at 1:37 AM who can’t seem to turn the hurt off long enough to quiet the
exhausted cries for rest from your brain.
You. Right here. Right now. Are enough. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Clear your eyes, dear, and let me be enough for you. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<h2>
<b>Love, </b></h2>
<h2>
<b>Abba</b></h2>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-28986107062952430012015-02-11T11:43:00.000-06:002015-02-11T11:43:16.430-06:00The Relationship Series- The S Word<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi65L-06MDextYiJFaRZ7kcCT4z23YV0wiGWGtaIXAmOWbs8jEDW4kNjz9xDHGDZYG-MUki93ntLI5nzvHlPdSAYa7xYgByySBrTjWldSn_bSXCReQfzBoh9B4NZTCUmsgPsZTZo9TMlJQ/s1600/sheets8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi65L-06MDextYiJFaRZ7kcCT4z23YV0wiGWGtaIXAmOWbs8jEDW4kNjz9xDHGDZYG-MUki93ntLI5nzvHlPdSAYa7xYgByySBrTjWldSn_bSXCReQfzBoh9B4NZTCUmsgPsZTZo9TMlJQ/s1600/sheets8.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a>Congratulations, you made it past the title! *high five*<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s the thing, sex is one of those things that we just
don’t talk about in church like… ever.
Even when we read through a passage in the Bible where it talks about a
man “knowing” his wife (if you know what I mean) we totally gloss over that part
and hurry towards the end of the passage that I’m sure says something about the
evils of some sin or another. I know
pastors, PASTORS, who won’t even say the word “sex” in church. They skirt around the word, the issue, and
quickly move on to other “more important” issues. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The worst part about the church’s squeamishness towards sex
is that the only time it is actually mentioned in church is with such
negativity. Oh sure, we talk about sex,
but it’s with warning and guilt and threats of destruction for engaging in
it. We talk with disgust about sexual
immorality and impurity with cautionary counsel to steer far FAR from it. Some say, “We don’t need to talk about sex,
you shouldn't be having it anyway! Just stay celibate and pure until marriage,
it’s that simple!” Right, yeah, let’s
treat the world as we want it to be and not as it is. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
See the problem is that the world talks about sex. The world inundates us with nakedness and one
night stands and friends who spend casual nights together between the
sheets. Sex is literally everywhere. In just a few days a movie ABOUT SEX is
coming to the big screen. A movie whose
book has sold over 70 MILLION copies (that’s just in the US by the way). People will be lined up around the block to
see the movie on opening night, and I have no doubt that hundreds of theaters
across the country will sell out. Why? Because people like sex. Duh. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So here’s what happens when we don’t talk about sex; we
become irrelevant to our world. We
choose to bury our heads in the sand and pretend that sex isn't an issue worth
discussing (while we engage in it with the shades drawn) and we become unconnected
with the very people who need us. Worse
even still, if we do talk about sex but only with negativity. If the only time we discuss sex in church is
to condemn those outside its Biblical lines what do you think happens then?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What happens is that the people outside those lines think
that their sexual sin is worse than all other sin. They begin to believe that if they’re having
sex or living with their partner or looking at porn that they are unacceptable;
not only to the church but to God. They
live their lives in bondage, alone, hidden away in secret because there is nowhere
they can go for help. It drives them to
depression and destruction and I can’t help but think we share some of the
blame for that. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jesus didn't seem to have this problem. He didn't cover His eyes when half naked
prostitutes caught in the act were thrust in front of Him. He didn't use euphemism and carefully skirt
around the issue when speaking scandalously to a woman at a well about her
loose life with multiple lovers. I can’t
help but wonder if there was some sermon on some mount somewhere when Jesus spoke
on sex and Matthew was just a little too uncomfortable to include it in his
book. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, I've spent 600 words just ranting from my soap box
about the need for sex talks in church and I haven’t actually done any sex
talking myself. So here you go:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sex is a beautiful thing and it’s also a binding thing. The moment you give that part of yourself to
another person you are forever fused with that person. Forever.
It doesn't matter if you walk away, if they walk away, if it’s “mutual,”
you are forever fused. That part, that insanely
intimate part of yourself, forever belongs to that other person. Which, I think, is probably why God warns us
to save it for marriage. Not because He
will think differently of us if we don’t, but because He knows that we will
think differently of ourselves if we don’t. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is no sin, no failure, nothing “too different” about
you that can separate you from God. Just
because you are not accepted by others does not mean you are unacceptable. Gay or straight, male or female, porn star or
celibate priest, living with your boyfriend or still never had a girlfriend—you
are loved completely, accepted fully, pursued intimately, and favored in
totality by the God who grips galaxies.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
May you have the courage to say the “S” word. May you fearlessly stand before those you
influence and talk unashamedly about the tough stuff. May you create a space of freedom and safety
for those struggling around you to be authentic. And if you are in the midst of the struggle
yourself; may you know, intimately know, that you are accepted and loved more
than you can imagine EXACTLY as you are.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Helpful link for those struggling with porn addiction-- <a href="http://xxxchurch.com/" target="_blank">XXX Church</a> </b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-27168962562611399032015-02-03T14:42:00.000-06:002015-02-03T14:44:37.281-06:00The Relationship Series- All My Single Ladies (and Men)<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSdledJMVHuEqenOaQVW6AxFbPiOvkAmUEtKitEay6YM0IQTiP8S_K-bu8BmoIAkIGxQJ6jP35YTPEMAOgRKXC-LR7fCrXSHBD75SpSznfHvt1gR7GlA7f0aPIc9A37wZmnx1PevJAPwM/s1600/keep-calm-and-enjoy-single-life-3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSdledJMVHuEqenOaQVW6AxFbPiOvkAmUEtKitEay6YM0IQTiP8S_K-bu8BmoIAkIGxQJ6jP35YTPEMAOgRKXC-LR7fCrXSHBD75SpSznfHvt1gR7GlA7f0aPIc9A37wZmnx1PevJAPwM/s1600/keep-calm-and-enjoy-single-life-3.png" height="320" width="274" /></a></div>
I’ve been working on this ongoing piece about
relationships/marriage/singleness that started out as a small article and
turned into about 3 pages worth of my thoughts and feelings. Basically, it’s 3 pages of me writing from
atop my soap box as reoccurring reminders of why I climbed up there are tossed
my way. So, since the need for these
things to be written shows no sign of ceasing, I thought I would do a little
mini blog series about relationships. Each
week of the month of February I will be posting a new blog covering a
relationship related topic. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This week, I want to start out by talking about
singleness. That’s where it all starts
after all, singly. It’s February which
means talk of love and dating fills the air.
It’s impossible to walk into any store anywhere without the smell of
packaged chocolate and cheap flowers assaulting your nostrils and the
brightness of red and pink décor overtaking your view. The commercial pounce on love began shortly
after Christmas ended, and for all us single people out there, seems to drag on
far too long to endure. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been rocking the single life for about 2 years now
after the man who I was ready to give up my dreams for broke my heart. And I’m glad he did. I’m glad he did because he was not worth that
sacrifice. I’ve refrained for so long
from writing anything about relationships simply because I feel like I just
really suck at them and I’m definitely not qualified to be giving anyone any
kind of advice regarding them. More on
that later in the series, but for now I want to talk about something I’m better
at than being in a relationship—being single. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At first, being single was difficult. Really, really, difficult. I spent YEARS being in a relationship, it
became my comfort zone. The first year
of being single was filled with nights crying myself to sleep and checking my phone
at 2am to see if he’d texted me and holding on to old pictures of us hoping he’d
come back to me and being torn apart by empty seats at holidays and breaking
down hearing love songs that use to make my heart soar. The latter part of that year was spent being
angry and throwing out everything that reminded me of us and wishing I could
fill that gaping hole he left in my heart the day he walked away. Basically my life was a Taylor Swift
album. I use to be ashamed to admit that
I had let so much of myself depend on another person, but I know now that I am
stronger for making that mistake. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All that struggle and hurt and anger all led me to this place
of valuing my singleness. People do this
thing where they make the ultimate goal in life marriage or, you know, finding “the
one.” That elusive “one” who will
somehow solve the insecurities of being alone.
So they say things like, “one day you’ll find that person” or “there’s someone
out there for everyone” or my personal favorite, “God has someone special set
aside for you.” All these are well
intentioned sentiments, but end up sounding to me like what you’re really
saying is, “One day you’ll find another human being to complete you.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, what if I don’t and why is that such a bad thing? What if some of us are called to
singleness? What if it’s possible to be
content without another human being tethered to our sides? The problem when we make a relationship or
marriage our ultimate goal in life is that we end up expecting the other person
to complete us. We strive and hope for
and work hard to get to this final destination of oneness with another person
and then quickly discover that they are just as insecure and broken as we
are. It’s no wonder that so many
marriages shatter!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Over these past couple of years I’ve learned the joy of
singleness and I honestly treasure it.
Being alone has taught me that I am by no means lonely. I find happiness and excitement in the
wonderful friendships that I am blessed with.
I have had the ability and delight to chase my dreams and ignite new
passions as I pursue the beautiful mess of ministry that God has lassoed me
into. I’ve experienced a depth of
personal growth and discovery that I could have never imagined and was never
possible while my energy and focus was spent on another person.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The most enticing thing about life lived singly is how truly
intimate my relationship with Christ has become. All those nights spent weeping into my pillow
over love lost were also the nights when I felt almost tangibly held by the
same arms that cradle the universe. All
those late nights spent squinting at my phone hoping for a word of love were
also the nights the lips that breathed life into dust whispered words of His delight
in me into my ear. All those days spent
in anger and pain when I didn’t feel like moving forward were the same days
that I was carried by the calloused hands that carried my cross. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know that all may sound crazy and weirdly ethereal but it
was so real for me. It IS so real for
me. I’ve spent 2 years falling madly in
love with a God who has always been madly in love with me. I’ve had the divine privilege of getting to
catch glimpses of myself through His eyes.
Glimpses that make me treasure this time spent being alone but not
lonely. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My friends joke about the coffee loving tattooed man that
may be awaiting me in the future and I can’t help but laugh and say, “It will
have to be one hell of a man to woo me away from this life!” Who knows what the future may hold for any of
us, but I am content living solo. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
To wrap this whole mess up I’ll leave you with this: May you find confidence and security in just
being solely you. May you embrace life
alone but not lonely. May you find
completion and satisfaction in a God who became nothing so that you could have
everything. May that completion ignite in
you new passion and desire for others to experience it too. And may you find the joy in being
single. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-8510353201204389292015-01-14T07:37:00.000-06:002015-01-14T07:39:17.441-06:00What I'm For<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiaPQybmcBqB21neGH2Hc-plxVXbmP9E9-S2niRXw5HnfMO7LUBCPiH9jE7UvX4lOZmeUHYJPuvrIqsmgdNCwhOkbs14-E1-HLwQ_lrfeCUYMD90t_SxdOgfcr0iHcqkkA57UMhCkZIt4/s1600/dexmedia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiaPQybmcBqB21neGH2Hc-plxVXbmP9E9-S2niRXw5HnfMO7LUBCPiH9jE7UvX4lOZmeUHYJPuvrIqsmgdNCwhOkbs14-E1-HLwQ_lrfeCUYMD90t_SxdOgfcr0iHcqkkA57UMhCkZIt4/s1600/dexmedia.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s interesting to me how after you publish a piece of
literature in any way related to something spiritual or God-esk, suddenly
everyone starts asking you all these big questions regarding what you
believe. All of the sudden they want to
know your opinion on the “push button” topics of morality and religion hoping
for either justification or to find a damning piece of evidence against
you. Quickly, what you believe on these
topics carries some kind of weight and it’s both terrifying and exciting. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So now people ask me, “Jess, what do you believe about
homosexuality? What do you believe about
abortion? What do you believe about sex
before marriage? What do you believe
about protesting or tithing or kicking people out of church or porn? What do
you believe about ________?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t help but wonder when people ask me these things if
they really want to know if I’m for gay marriage and women pastors or if they just
want to know if the things that I’m against line up with the things that
they’re against. It comes across to me
as if what people really want to know is “If I believe in this whole grace
thing do I still get to be against the same things I am now? Do I still get to hate gay people? Do I still get to tell my wife she has to
submit to me? Do I still get to be a
Conservative? Do I still get to be mad
at Bush or Obama or Gary Busey (he is pretty creepy after all)?” And I can’t
help but be burdened and saddened by how many things we are against and how
many people look to their religion to justify their againstness. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today, I am going to answer all those questions. I am going to tell you what I believe, and
I’m going to do that by telling you all the things that I am for. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am for life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am for freedom.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am for love. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am for forgiveness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am for acceptance.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am for second chances. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am for passion.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am for servant leadership.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am for the broken, the marginalized, and the oppressed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am for restoration.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am for creativity.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am for respect, loyalty, and faithfulness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am for radical, excessive, scandalous grace. Grace that doesn’t check you at the door to
make sure that your political party, sexual orientation, history, or habits
measure up before it invites you in.
Grace that loves us exactly as we are and way too much to leave us
there. Grace that lavishes when we fail,
exceeds when we fall short, and pursues when we turn away. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am for what Jesus was for.
Plain and simple.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whatever big morality question you have about my beliefs on
the “big issues;” let it be answered by what I am for. Let me be known by what I am for. Let the church be known by what it is for. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know that there’s this really annoying passage in 1
Corinthians that talks about kicking someone out of the church and maybe down
the road if that’s an actual situation that I have to be a part of my view and
thinking might change but I guess I just want to be the person who always errs
on the side of grace. I just feel like there are so many stories out there
about people who walked away from Christ because so many Christians weren’t
like Him. So many people out there think
God hates them simply because the church does. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s sad. Thinking
about it actually brings me to tears.
See, because I was one of those people. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So many people gave up on me, called me a lost cause, told
me I wouldn’t ever amount to anything.
All because I wasn’t against what they were against. All because I couldn’t bring myself to preach
condemnation while I knew how much I deserved it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I write all this merely to encourage all who read it to be
known by what they’re for instead of what they’re against. So often I have failed at this, so often I have been known by what I'm against instead of what I'm for. It's time to change that. We have the power to change how the world sees
God simply by acting more like Him.
Simply by loving like He loves, by being for what He is for. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
May you search deep within our spirit and discover what you
are for. May you focus more on your
cause than on your opposition. May you
then find the freedom to embrace the rejected and bring hope to the
hurting. And may you love like He loves
and show the world what He is for. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-56072661554315874742015-01-06T13:34:00.001-06:002015-01-07T07:50:34.032-06:00In The Beginning Was The Word<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwRsbhFxR6xUWPbXfdBreX6zsUtVpDtNGVadkZ8QiUn-h80Qqe7VX_nB_unmj9umFRGdnUyBZhMAKxi3Fe-2yn5xVT58ZAwGMeaOBFzqNF3quCF0BSscoMHLSWeqPCCgTzQei_-by8G-Y/s1600/written.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwRsbhFxR6xUWPbXfdBreX6zsUtVpDtNGVadkZ8QiUn-h80Qqe7VX_nB_unmj9umFRGdnUyBZhMAKxi3Fe-2yn5xVT58ZAwGMeaOBFzqNF3quCF0BSscoMHLSWeqPCCgTzQei_-by8G-Y/s1600/written.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have become more aware recently of the penetrating power
of words. It feels redundant to say, “words
are important” as I’m fairly certain that sentence escapes my lips at least
once a day. It’s true, they are
important, but more than just important they are piercing, powerful, prodding, provocative,
and pungent. Hidden between each letter,
in the alcoves of each curve and line, permeates the power to build and destroy. This is the magnitude of power, the unruly flame
that writers dare to tease.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We carve out a piece of ourselves and use it as ink to stain
our pages each time we pick up our pens.
It’s a deep and often dismantling experience to be a writer. Not only do we unleash the potency of words
with each pen stroke, but unlike spoken words, those written become forever
etched in time, carved on creation. Written
words can be reread when in need of reminder, shared across state lines, and passed
down generational lines. Writing in a
sense gives immortality to the power of words.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ve had the genuine privilege to hear some of the impact my
meager words have had on those who read them.
The more I hear feedback from those influenced the more aware I become
of the power things written have.
Thinking about this more and more as of late has led me to a deep and
authentic awareness of how truly important the Bible is. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The Bible is God’s written expression of His heart for
us. So often we water that fact down by
requiring repetitious memorization of passages we never really even pay
attention to or encouraging 30 minute power read sessions fueled by guilt. The Bible then becomes as weak and
insignificant as that math textbook shoved in back of your closet. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I spent almost 2 years attempting to dismember my heart and
piece it back together on the pages of my book; God spent centuries, lifetimes,
pouring His essence onto those parchments.
What a beautiful reality to be aware of and oh how so often we aren’t. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We should strive to become more aware of that reality. <o:p></o:p></div>
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If you read this as an attempt to make you feel guilty for
missing your quiet time this morning then you’re missing the point. My goal here is not to have you strive and
strain to somehow meet this unattainable requirement of knowing all there is to
know about the Bible. My goal here is
simply to encourage you to spend time exploring the vastness of God’s love for
you found within its pages. Each and
every jot and tittle whispers reminders of a God in passionate pursuit of our
hearts. The more I dive into this Book
the more tangible I find God, the more real I find His love for me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, I leave you with this encouragement: exercise your freedom, crack open that dusty Bible
on your shelf, dog-ear pages and crease the spine. May you find the depths of God’s heart within
its pages. May you be blown away by the
enormity of His love for you. May you be
ignited by the freedom it brings you and may you be so enthralled by the
outpouring of God’s essence onto those ink stained sheets that you never want
to put it down. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-79302801504252272132014-12-17T12:43:00.000-06:002015-01-06T15:07:12.687-06:004 Things I Learned While Writing My Book<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaSx4L3avC4CroT28gq1wpPxJC5-zqXOXUF-1c0c0HdhMOGtiv5pJJNpBkjFpy4kyRPoVUloOxld7lDyNd-YutFaSZHgB7XagyQS8TdLlwhq40gxNiVhxf4zPzMu5I65_kPxhALQ3f6vQ/s1600/BookCoverPreview.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaSx4L3avC4CroT28gq1wpPxJC5-zqXOXUF-1c0c0HdhMOGtiv5pJJNpBkjFpy4kyRPoVUloOxld7lDyNd-YutFaSZHgB7XagyQS8TdLlwhq40gxNiVhxf4zPzMu5I65_kPxhALQ3f6vQ/s1600/BookCoverPreview.jpg" height="233" width="320" /></a></div>
I am writing to you today as a published author! I'm still trying to convince myself this is real life as it is quite definitely a dream come true for me. This week my book, <i>A Rebel's Religion</i>, officially hit the market and is available for purchase <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Rebels-Religion-Jess-Hays/dp/1503027104/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418841273&sr=8-1&keywords=jess+hays" target="_blank">here</a>. I've been working on this project for almost 2 years now and have learned a lot along the way. Here are just 4 of the many things I learned during this part of my journey:<br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">[1] Passion and Patience don’t play well together. </span></h2>
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Patience is difficult.
I’m sensing that you’re not surprised by this exclamation. Everyone knows patience is hard; I have
never, in my life met someone who said, “Oh yeah, patience, I’ve got that down,
that’s easy!” I’m not even good at being
patient with silly things like waiting for my 2 day shipping packages to arrive
or for my cookies to finish baking in the oven.
You start talking about things I’m passionate about like helping people
experience freedom and faith or creating spaces of rest for people worn by this
world; well that makes patience even more difficult! This process of writing my book and getting
it published has taught me quite a bit about patience. It’s taught me the value of patience and how
much greater the outcome can be if only I take time to wait for God. Passion and patience don’t naturally like to
hang out together; but man, if you can get them playing on the same team,
incredible things happen! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">[2] Leadership is about more than being in charge. </span></h2>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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This year, going through the process of not only writing a
book but also organizing and speaking at retreats and other ministry events, I
have learned quite a bit and not nearly enough about leadership. I think there’s this really well hidden trap
that leaders often fall into; where we get so caught up in making the thing
(event, service, set, weekend, etc) happen that we neglect the people it’s
supposedly for. At times I find myself
becoming so focused on the task at hand that it’s easy for me to miss the
precious unplanned moments of ministry where God completely ruins my plans and
creates brilliant chaos. I’m repetitively
learning that leadership, more often than not, is about learning to shut up
long enough for God to say something. At
least, that seems to be the case for me.
It’s a rather splendid adventure really! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">[3] I don’t know nearly as much as I think I do. </span></h2>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m not sure if it’s the excess amounts of stubbornness I
was blessed with or my difficulty relinquishing control, but for some reason I
have this problem of thinking I have things figured out. Like, if everyone just listened to me, if
God just listened to me, things would go much smoother, because obviously
trying to do things on my own has been <i>so</i>
successful for me. I often say that
Jesus ruined my life which sometimes catches people off guard and gets me copious
“I’ll pray for you” looks. What I mean
is Jesus ruined MY life, the life that I had planned. The one that I had all figured out. The one that led me to addiction and
emptiness and struggle. Jesus ruined the
patchwork house I’d built for myself and offered me a kingdom. Learning to embrace that, to take in the
reality of that already having taken place, to believe that His path is better
even when it looks like He’s getting us lost; well, that’s why faith is so
important. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">[4] Vulnerability makes a difference. </span></h2>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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There are times when I write things more for me than for
anyone else. You know, just to organize
the tangled web of feelings that’s stuffed down in the bottom of some sealed
off pocket of my heart. I put in out
here on my blog and I read through it thinking, “Eh, not my best piece of
writing but hey it’s where I’m at right now.”
Those are pieces on which I get the most feedback! People send me
messages saying how beautiful it was or how much they needed to read it right
now and it never ceases to blow me away.
Like, I go back and read it again and think… “This piece? Are you sure?” <o:p></o:p></div>
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These reoccurring instances remind me how much people crave authenticity
and vulnerability. Those are rare commodities
in this world and people devour them any time they are offered. Writers have this beautifully terrifying gift
of putting struggles into words while revealing pieces of themselves at every
pen stroke. Writers are essentially daring to bare their
weaknesses so that others might find comfort in knowing that they are not alone
in the emotional nakedness of their struggles.
Humanity needs more of that; we long for it. Earnest Hemmingway once said, “Write long and
hard about what hurts.” Good advice
indeed. We should all dare to be real,
to be vulnerable, to be free. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s been one hell of a journey this whole writing a book
thing but wow has it been wonderful! I
am continually amazed by how much I learn along each new phase of my
journey. Thank you all for following me
as I travel it. May seeing a little bit
of mine encourage you along yours, may you be inspired to tell your story and to
write long and hard about what hurts. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581336870392578181.post-18231434742676841052014-11-04T15:09:00.000-06:002014-11-04T15:10:05.526-06:00Land of the Free?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8URL5YadeMiVstHWL_evqddKzRwzVcZ5Qi6vVYpP_F3ubV7WDjaztLOoSwn6y2MsgOXq7d2gg5OhyV5eSjYbGgRA1MjWMt5vRPLX21YpK0bz_4-0msxD6urP2H7ubniq1NY7NTD-vuxI/s1600/printelect-i-voted-today1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8URL5YadeMiVstHWL_evqddKzRwzVcZ5Qi6vVYpP_F3ubV7WDjaztLOoSwn6y2MsgOXq7d2gg5OhyV5eSjYbGgRA1MjWMt5vRPLX21YpK0bz_4-0msxD6urP2H7ubniq1NY7NTD-vuxI/s1600/printelect-i-voted-today1.gif" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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I live in America, the land of the free, right? Right… <o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s election day here, everyone is visiting their local
government office, showing ID’s, filling out ballots and proudly posting selfies
of them wearing their “I voted” stickers.
So far, I've decided not to participate in these festivities. Though, I am admittedly cynical when it comes
to matters of a political nature, that’s not the reason I've chosen not to
vote. I've chosen not to participate
simply because I don’t support anyone who is running, and I’m just not one to put
my name (or bubbled in dot) behind someone or thing that I don’t believe
in. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Today, as my coworkers began trickling in to work, shaking
off the rain remnants from the storm outside, my eye caught the red, white, and
blue shine of the stickers stuck to their chests. It wasn't long before the office buzzed with
voting conversation. One of my coworkers
excitedly asked me, “Did you vote today?!”
I replied matter-of-factly, “Nope.” What she said next caught me off
guard. “Well why don’t you just go live in Iraq then if you’re not going to
vote!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Wow. I cocked my head
and walked away as I chose to distract myself with the pile of paperwork on my
desk rather than respond. I've been
thinking about that comment the rest of the day though. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Correct me if I’m wrong but… isn't what this country stands
for freedom? And am I not exercising my
freedom by my choice not to vote? Isn't
it my right as an American to not have to stand behind anything I don’t want
to? <o:p></o:p></div>
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We do this funny thing as humans; we think that if we have
the freedom to do something that means we have to do it. We have the freedom to vote so we <i>have </i>to
vote or else we’re abusing the privilege, after all not everyone in the world
has that opportunity. We see a sign at a store, “Buy One Get One
Free” and we think, “Well I don’t really <i>need </i>two pairs of shoes but it’s free
so I <i>have</i> to take it.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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This human way of thinking about freedom leaks over into our
faith. I think that’s why religious
people get their panties in wad when you start telling people that Christ
offers them freedom. If you want to make
them even madder, you believe like I do; that because of Christ’s sacrifice
which covered ALL sins, we have the freedom even to sin without fear of
punishment as the payment for those sins has already been made. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Woah now, we can’t tell people that. If we tell people that they are just going to
go out sin all over the place (because they aren't sinning already?) Why do we think that? Oh, right, because if we have freedom to do
something that means we have to do it?
That’s what Satan wants us to think.
How powerless that kind of “freedom” is. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The liberty that Christ offers us is so much bigger than our
humanity’s definition of freedom. Freedom
in Christ means I never again have to meet expectations, worry about demands,
fear punishment, or quiet my passions.
Sin tries to put us back in bondage, shackle us to shame, weigh us down
with worry, but it has no power here. Sin’s price has already been paid, we
have already been freed from its accusations and guilt. <o:p></o:p></div>
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See, when God says we have freedom He doesn't mean IF we
read our Bible enough or IF we hang out with the right people or IF we go to
the right church or IF we look the right way.
When God says we have freedom He means we have complete, untameable
freedom. Freedom to run to Him or from
Him. Freedom from sin and freedom to
sin. Freedom to have straight collars or
grungy jeans. Freedom that causes life
to sometimes be chaotic and unpredictable and messy but also beautifully,
intimately authentic. After all, would
His love really be love if we had to clean ourselves up before we could
experience it? <o:p></o:p></div>
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I often wonder why God offers us such freedom, freedom that
I have abused so many times. I’ve asked
just as many times why He keeps trusting me with such liberty. The thing is… even when I don’t have faith in
God; God has faith in me. He sees me as
I truly am, covered in the blood of His favored Son, fused in spirit with His holiness. How could he shackle something He finds so
beautiful? How can He not delight in my flights
into freedom?<o:p></o:p></div>
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God works differently than we do. Everything He gives, He gives without
strings. This world knows nothing of
that kind of freedom, that kind of love.
We say we’re the land of the free but just try not paying your taxes and
see how free this land really is. I’m
not trying to make a political stand or statement in way; I just want people to
know what real freedom is, and I want them to experience in the shadows of
their hearts where Satan has tried to shackle them. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I leave you with this blessing:<br />
<br />
May you find freedom from what the world calls freedom. May you come to realize that a much more
powerful liberty has been offered to you.
One that not only frees you from your past and your struggles and your
shortcomings, but that also frees you to be the wonderfully unique creature
that God sees you as. And may you wear
that freedom with just as much pride as you do the red, white, and blue colored
sticker on your chest. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
<h2 style="text-align: right;">
For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the
Lord is, there is freedom.<br />-1 Corinthians 3:17 (NET)</h2>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08226208245192373615noreply@blogger.com0