Take chances. Abandon all the rules. Ditch the recipe. Color outside the lines.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Another Day Closer

I have probably the most amazing best friend on the planet.  Recently I've been thinking alot about him and what he means to me because I'm about to go back to school after a rough summer and am not looking forward to it.  When we met I was a mess.  But... I was very good at pretending to have it all together!  It's funny to me because he was a football coach where i went to school and we had known each other for almost 2 years before we really became friends!  My second season as a trainer at HPU I was assigned to girls basketball and we had to take a long trip to Mississippi (about a 10 hr drive from Brownwood).  Well, the head basketball coach offered to pay him to help drive the bus there.  We were already cool with each other, not close or anything, but we smarted off to each other and helped each other out from time to time so I was kinda excited that he got asked to drive us!  Well as the trip went on we talked and laughed and after about 123455 times of me asking for his number he gave it to me and we started texting back and forth.  We got back from the trip and both headed off in opposite directions for Christmas break with our families.  January 6th was our first basketball game after Christmas break and i was there, u know, saving the world same old same old.  The girls game finished and i had to stay because my roommate was filming the guy's game and she was my ride.  So i sat up in the very top of the bleachers and started texting him (mainly cause i was bored and had nothing else to do but SHHHH don't tell him that).  We started into a long conversation and I don't even remember how we got on the subject but he started saying that he wanted to leave HPU.  I asked him why and he rattled off this whole list of excuses why it would be better to just run away from all the problems of Brownwood.  Man, i straight ripped him!  I called him a coward told him all the reasons he was being dumb and how running away can't solved his problems! I don't know what i was thinking!  Well the game ended and he left and I thought for sure he'd never talk to me again... but.... he did!  That was the first start of our friendship, me trying to save him from his bitterness and junk.  That was my goal of our friendship... but.... it turns out that he saved me.  Our friendship has skyrocketed!  We have come to the point where we talk about EVERYTHING!  What used to be random spurts of texts every few days has now turned into talking every spare minute either of us has.  I was such a mess back then and he showed me how to be confident in myself.  That being soft is ok.  That i don't deserve to be beat down and treated badly by the people around me.  He taught me how to love again and how to communicate my feelings to the people around me.  He gave me a safe place to fail... and refuge to run to when I was drained and worn down.  A place where I always knew I could be myself without judgment or pressure to change.  This was a rough summer for both of us.  He went through a divorce and i got caught in it.  My mom lost her job in  a very cruel way and I hurt for her.  I ended up back home although I didn't really want to.  My grandpa has been sick.  He moved to Oklahoma which is 7 hours away from me and his family.  It's been hard to go through all that we have as our relationship has progressed but I can definitely say if we hadn't had each other neither of us would have made it!  Now we enter a new level of our relationship and a new obstacle- distance.  Each and every day it gets harder but we also get stronger.  It's gotten to the point now where when I say "I love you" it really doesn't even cover it.  I have never been so blessed to have such an amazing friendship and relationship as this and I treasure it so dearly! No matter what this semester brings, what trials I face, I know I'm not alone! Clear eyes, love in your heart, can't lose!

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