Take chances. Abandon all the rules. Ditch the recipe. Color outside the lines.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

The Tie That Binds

Most of my life has been spent pushing people away who wanted to be close to me.  I always felt as if the few people that I did allow to be close to me usually ended up betraying my trust or breaking my heart.  I then became this tough, impenetrable mess that I thought was better than being able to be hurt.  There was this point in my life where I had so completely shut out anyone who could possibly care about me that I really had no one to run to in my time of need.

I remember feeling so incredibly alone in that time that all I wanted to do was lie in bed and feel sorry for myself.  It took someone coming in, grabbing me by the shoulders, looking me in the eyes, and saying “I’m here and I’m not leaving, so deal with it!” in order me to finally start to understand what trusting someone really meant.

I’ve grown a lot since those days.  I feel like that person in miles away from who I am now.  Recently, I have become very aware of how incredibly blessed I am by the people in my life now.  I’m sure they don’t see how wonderfully impacting they have been in my life.  I know I say over and over again how thankful I am for them and I’m sure everyone is tired of hearing about it! I can just hear people reading my Facebook status, “Yes, we get it already you have friends! So what?!”  They don’t get it though, I have FRIENDS!

Amazing friends.  Friends who I can call any time I’m hurting and I know they will listen to me cry and tell me they love me.  Friends who push me to be better but are never unaccepting of who I am.  Friends who I can be crazy and goofy with and have serious talks about grace and God in the same day.  I’ve never felt so fully accepted for who I am. 

My two best friends are serious pictures of Jesus in my life.  Briana and I have been friends since I was 10 I think.  We were in choir together and I used to bully her… don’t ask me how we ended up friends! It’s cause she really is a light of grace.  We both had our own baggage that came with growing up thinking God was disappointed in us, and it sent us in opposite directions.  Somehow though, we ended up back together and we’ve never been stronger.  She always is the first to text me when she knows I’m hurting.  She’s the first to make me laugh and the first to meet me with a hug when she knows I need to feel loved.  I can’t imagine not having her in my life anymore! 

Carolina is just as amazing!  Even though we haven’t known each other for as long I feel like we have! She is truly my sister!  I have never met anyone like her!  Her sweetness and joy help reign me in when the crazy starts to come out.  She never corrects me when I mess up she just gives me a comforting hug or a squeeze on the hand and I know I’m loved even in my failures.  I’m the edgy crazy one and she just loves me like Jesus does every moment! 

These girls have immensely changed my life.  They help me understand grace on a deeper level than just reading about it or hearing it preached.  I feel so lucky to be able to share a little bit of life with these amazing people.  My word to all you loners out there… don’t be afraid to let people get close to you, you might just miss out on something radically life changing!

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