Your Mom!

Mother’s day is this weekend so I thought I’d take some time and write a little something for my mom today.  My mom and I haven’t always had the best relationship.  I wasn’t the little girl who wanted to be a princess and play dress up.  I was more the convinced I was going to be a cop and I much rather dig in the dirt than have tea parties.  I know she wanted a little girl and she got more of a tomboy.  I remember getting in fights with her because I wanted to wear baggy shorts and wear my hair in a ponytail and she wanted me to wear girl clothes and wear my hair down all the time.  When I was in high school I kind of felt like I was a disappointment to her because I just wasn’t that girl she wanted me to be.  It was my own view through the eyes of bitterness that made me see things this way.  As I’ve grown up we’ve gotten closer.  It’s really amazing to me to see how grace has changed both our lives in different ways.  I’m becoming more aware that she is and always has been proud of me.  She’s so strong.  I look back at all I’ve put her through as I traveled down my rough roads and realize how truly supportive she has been through it all.  She has always been willing to take the blame for things that never really were her fault.  In the past my anger would never let me see her love but now I do.  She doesn’t let people see how truly soft hearted she really is and that is something we do have in common.  I think in her past when she has tried to be real with people she’s been hurt and I can definitely relate to that.  People should give her more of a chance.  She loves deeper than anyone I have ever met and she still stands by me no matter what.  She holds our family together in times where I was sure we would fall apart.  Even in her times of deepest hurt she is still the one to reach down and comfort us when we are hurting.  We are so very different in so many ways but I can honestly say I can’t imagine having a better mom than her.  As many times as I’ve let her down, broken her heart, and betrayed her trust, she has never given up on me.  Now I have tattoos, spiky hair, and wear rock star jeans and even though I know she rather see me with long hair, heels, and dresses I know she thinks I am beautiful just the way I am.  I wouldn’t be able to be who I am without her that is for sure!  I’ve come down a long road of brokenness to finally find healing and she has held my hand this whole way.  She is the most beautiful, caring, loving, smart, kind, understanding, strong, and meek woman I have ever met and I am so proud to call her my mom!  Mom, thank you for being a true woman of grace and how deep the Father’s love is for me.  I’d be lost without you.  I love you with all my heart, thanks for being you!